So six of us banded together to get the grossest, rankest, dirtiest, smelliest, coldest (and all the other “-est”s) flat in Dunedin and get our landlord on side to do it up. Our goal: we meet our landlord halfway (they front up the money, we front up the labour) to get the place insulated and energy efficient.
And boy did we find the worst flat. Literally. Voted the worst flat by former OUSA president Logan Edgar and Mayor Dave Cull last year, the ShitShow Chateau ticked all of the boxes: no insulation, no form of heating, more holes than Lucky Seven, dicks erected on every wall and a solid level of general grottiness. (PS – did I mention we’re living in it?)
So we began the DIY process. We did everything from draught-proofing to hacking down vines, and from clearing gutters to sifting dirt for glass and spraying for mould. It hasn’t been without its holdups, however. Opening up a wall to insulate we found that one entire side of the house is rotten right through, giving the term “indoor-outdoor flow” a whole new level of meaning. Oh, and it has no foundations. With one room now out of action, we’re having a sleepover round robin and putting pressure on our landlord to make renovations snappy.
We’re the first to admit that we may have had our beer goggles on when we saw the place and thought it would all be finished and toasty warm by the time winter came around … ha, ha. It’s still far from a warm, healthy flat. But in saying that, we have convinced our landlord to make more than a few thousand dollars’ worth of improvements to the place and have learnt some things along the way:
From cunt to caring: How to get your landlord eating out of your hand
-Frame issues as long-term investments rather than reactionary quick fixes. Brownie points for making them think it was all their idea in the first place.-50 to 60 per cent of your heat is lost through your ceiling and floor, so insulation is gonna slash your heating bill big time. This insulation costs your landlord a one-time payment of roughly $2,500, and when they’re raking in upwards of $20,000 from annual rent, $2,500 no longer seems that much. This includes the 30 per cent government subsidy (a 60 per cent subsidy is available with community services card), and the Dunedin City Council currently runs a targeted rates scheme to pay it off over 10 years. Use this as bargaining power with your landlord and don’t let them convince you otherwise.
-The Department of Building and Housing has templates where you just fill in the form and send it to your landlord to get your issue sorted within 14 days. Easy as pie. Go to dbh.govt.nz/pub-sorting-out-problems#map4
-If your landlord’s a Grade A wanker, you can always take them to the Housing Tribunal (or just threaten to). You get can up to $2,000 in compensation if they’ve been douchebags.
Get amongst: what you can do
Look around you. Is your flat shit? It doesn’t have to be.-Draughts are major culprits. Draught-proof your house to make sure that whatever heat you have stays inside. Walk around with an incense stick to see where the holes are. Use newspaper if you’re poor, otherwise get gap filler.
-Water heating is also a biggie – you or your landlord can insulate your hot water cylinder, and this will save you a heap.
-DON’T DRY YOUR CLOTHES INSIDE. The stats around heating dry air vs. wet air are insane and one load of washing can put upwards of 5L of moisture in your room. Whack the clotheshorse outside. So all together now – don’t dry your clothes inside!