Clean Collective is the go-to fitspo drink. It’s a staple for those with social anxiety, who hate drinking but hate looking like a loser more. Coming in plenty of flavours, Clean Collective is bound to cleanse your palette while also getting you a little rinsed. For those who don’t drink and mean it, the good news is that the brand also dabbles in energy drinks. Hooray for no more $3 raspberry lemonades at the pub!
These are probably the most futuristic looking drinks on the market. They’re so aesthetically pleasing that they wouldn’t look out of place in those fridge restocking videos on TikTok. But I want to see “sleep when you’re dead” on the label, not how good it is for me. It’s giving that guy who makes his run club his whole personality. We get it, you wake up at 4am. Have you tried having a beer?
Despite looking a bit like a spaceship that’s gonna cure all my liver damage, I’ll readily admit that Clean Collective actually tastes pretty great. Opting to try the Passionfruit and Mango, Clean Collective does what Cheeky’s wish they could: make an RTD that actually tastes like the fruit it claims to be. After knocking back a couple of these bad boys, I really did start feeling clean. It almost made me want to stop drinking (not gonna happen) and attend by 9ams again.
Clean Collective exudes 2016 California health aesthetic: full of fresh goodness and the desire to go on a run, get a matcha, and then watch Emma Chamberlain. A new approach to RTDs, this drink has the girlies (and some guys) in a chokehold. There’s a 90% chance that at least five people will have a box of these at any flat party you rock up to.
Problems arise, however, when you want to get truly crunk. With only 5% alcohol, we wouldn’t recommend these if you’re looking to get fucked up. It’s also not the ideal drink to chug. But sometimes a drink is made to be enjoyed and not just as a way to get drunk (who knew?). This is one of them. Clean Collective is the ideal drink to give your mum or your nan because it’s “hip and what the kids are drinking” – and there’s nothing older women love more than being hip.
The Passionfruit and Mango flavour is a personal favourite, providing a refreshing taste and the right amount of buzz. Having no additives really makes a difference; I can’t remember a time of drinking RTDs without being bloated. That day has finally come. It’s almost the ideal day drinking beverage – besides a box of Codys or Double Browns, obviously.
After jumping head first into the health-inspired alcoholic beverages on offer, my judgemental thoughts have changed. I get it now. But if I see anyone log this drink onto their calorie tracking app on a night out I will be throwing hands. You’re not any better than the rest of us, sorry not sorry xoxo
Pairs well with: A Dunner Stunner
X factor: Fresh fruit taste
Chugability: 4/10. Enjoy the bevvy!
Taste Rating: 9/10. Your nan will love ’em