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and other odd laws past and present.

Most people would agree that politicians are capable of some entertainingly stupid actions. It's one of the redeeming qualities of politics in general. But according to the lists of stupid laws that do the rounds on the internet or, in earlier times, in book form, sometimes lawmakers just go nuts and outlaw something totally bizarre.
   Some of these laws are probably urban legends. Others are centuries out of date. Still more have been taken out of context or misquoted to the point where they no longer make sense. But there are a few, even in New Zealand, that are surprisingly odd or antiquated.
   One common “law” that falls under the category of urban legend is the story that Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear any pants. Amazingly, this legend seems to have sprung from an incident in which a city council decided to save money by no longer purchasing Donald Duck comics for youth centres in the city. During a following election, it was claimed by his opponents that the incumbent had banned them because Donald wore no pants and cavorted with an unmarried ‘woman’. From there, the myth just kept growing until the poor duck was allegedly banned from the entire country.
   England is particularly bad for having laws that are so out of date that they no longer make sense. In fact, it's only fairly recently that some of these laws have been cleared out from New Zealand's statutes, as well. Often, however, laws that are long gone are repeated today as if they're still standing. For example, it's apparently legal to urinate on the street in New Zealand “provided that you maintain one hand on the rump of the horse while you leak, and you aim for the ground where the horse would leak onto.” Well, maybe that was true a hundred years ago. Today, the Summary Offences Act 1981 makes it pretty clear that horse or no horse, you're getting a fine. The only possible excuse is for the offender to have “reasonable grounds for believing he would not be observed.”
   Some laws make a lot more sense than a quick glance would give them credit for. One example that often makes it onto top 25 lists of stupid laws is that “in Ohio, it is illegal to get fish drunk.” On the face of it, that seems like a law that is, if not entirely crazy, hopefully unnecessary. But a little more information makes a big difference; alcohol has a paralytic effect on fish, so pouring alcohol into an enclosed waterway makes them float up to the surface where they can be easily caught. Prohibiting this could only be good for making sure people can keep on fishing into the future.
   Sometimes laws seem crazy just because of the way they've been quoted. Ohio has another good one here. It's said that in Athens-Clarke County, “Goldfish may not be given away to entice someone to enter a game of bingo.” It sounds ridiculous, yes, it's true. But the whole law isn't really funny at all (so if you actually thought that was hilarious, don't read the next bit).
   “Sec. 4-1-9. Animal giveaway. No person in Athens-Clarke County shall give away any live animal, fish, reptile or bird as a prize for, or as an inducement to enter, any contest, game, or other competition, or as an inducement to enter a place of amusement, or offer such animal as an incentive to enter into any business agreement whereby the offer was for the purpose of attracting trade. (Ord. Of 12-1-98, § 1)”
   In reality, the law just says you shouldn't give away animals as freebies, which seems like a pretty good idea. Just because someone wins an animal doesn't mean they want to care for it for the rest of their life. It would be just as valid to say that iguanas may not be given away as an incentive to purchase real estate. But if you pick a very specific example and presenting it as a law of its own, the law sounds dumb.
   Although these are all examples of laws that are a lot less stupid than they seem, odd laws do exist, even in New Zealand. By international standards, our books are kept pretty tidily, and there are ongoing efforts by the Law Commission to trim off any excess legislation. We used to have a large number of Imperial Laws in place, carried over from the age of the British Empire, which included England's wackier offerings like the fact that all swans belong to the monarchy. But with legislation like the Imperial Laws Application Act in 1988, we've wiped the slate clean. Earlier, in with the Crimes Act 1961, we got rid of this article's titular law – an imperial law making it an offence to “carry off” a nun, and a capital offence to sleep with her.
   One of the few Imperial Laws we've hung on to is the Act of Settlement 1700. This is the act that outlines who can inherit the throne. It was created during a succession crisis when Princess Anne, the only remaining heir to the throne, failed to produce any children who survived to maturity. To make matters worse, the majority of candidates to follow her reign were Catholics, which was clearly unacceptable to society at the time.
   The Act of Settlement stirs up controversy occasionally for two reasons: firstly, it prefers male heirs over female ones; and secondly, it doesn't allow any person who “shall profess the Popish religion or shall marry a Papist” to ascend to the throne. It seems outdated for this somewhat bigoted law to remain in place, and yet it has remained unchanged for over two hundred years.
   New Zealand has outdated laws of its own. The Mercantile Law Act of 1908 is full of sensible rules on how trading of goods and services should occur. It also contains an oddly specific command for booksellers, outlining the agreement that must be made between the seller and purchaser. Apparently, if your agreement is not written in red capital letters, it's void.
   Some of the outlandish laws present in New Zealand are the result of plans that were never followed through or circumstances that never arose. In Dunedin, one such law is the Otago Harbour Bridge Act 1886. Since 1866, there had been plans to build a dramatic arch spanning the Otago Harbour. The Bridge act in 1886 laid down how the 1140-metre structure should be constructed, who would own it and what tolls could be collected. Oh, and if it ever does get built? By law, it must be a drawbridge.
   Another failed engineering project led to the Auckland and Manukau Canal Act 1908. This act has a similar purpose to the Otago Harbour Bridge Act in terms of describing how a canal would be built to connect the Waitemata and Manukau Harbours. Alarmingly, it also allows the Government to compulsorily obtain land for the canal. Landowners up North, watch out.
   Land to build canals isn't the only thing the Government has a right to grab. According to the Atomic Energy Act of 1945, if you find uranium in New Zealand and don't report it to the authorities within three months, you're committing a crime. And although the sections that made all raw uranium the property of the Crown have been repealed, the Government can still control how it's mined.
   One of the weirdest laws, which is thankfully now history, is the Margarine Act of 1908. This was brought in to protect New Zealand's dairy industry from the threat of the much cheaper spread, margarine, which was becoming popular in other parts of the world. It heavily regulated the production and packaging of margarine, effectively preventing it from being a viable competitor for butter. It also banned using yellow dye in margarine to make it look more palatable (margarine is naturally a greyish-white colour. Gross). Margarine remained marginalised until 1980 when the act was finally repealed. The dairy industry, terrified of losing market share, tried to force through legislation to make it compulsory for all margarine manufacturers to dye their product blue. Imagine that ...
 
   Strangest laws still (technically) in action around the world
   • It is illegal to die in the British Houses of Parliament. This law was apparently put in place because anyone who died in Parliament could be technically entitled to a state funeral.
   • In Massachusetts it's illegal to make exploding golf balls. Although this seems sensible, it's not clear why it was necessary to write a law about it.
   • As of 1954, it became an offense for a flying saucer to fly over, land, or take off from the French town of Châteauneuf-du-Pape.
   • It could be regarded an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen's image upside-down.
   • In Arkansas, atheists may not hold civil office or testify in court.
   • In South Carolina, it's a crime for unmarried men and women to have sexual intercourse.
   • Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned in England; this law was put in place by Cromwell in the seventeenth century as part of an attempt to move Christmas away from a holiday of gluttony and other sin and towards a more Puritan religious celebration.
   • In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants.
   • In several countries, for example Nigeria and Iran, adultery can be punished by death by stoning.
   • In Georgia, it's a misdemeanour to sell or give away a child under 12 to become a circus performer.
   • The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail the property of the Queen.
   • In several states in the USA, sex toys are illegal.
   • It is illegal to enter the British Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour.