Is Sal’s really the 22nd best pizza in the world?

Posted 10:13pm Thursday 30th July 2020

The following is one man’s (who may actually just be a butch lesbian in disguise) account of Critic’s least significant investigation to date. You may be shocked, you may be horrified, you may be disgusted, but no matter what you feel, please keep reading because I worked really hard on Read more...

Sweet Dreams are Made of Cheese

Posted 3:55pm Monday 6th April 2020

The pirate ship’s remains lay scattered on the beach. The pirate King, still breathing, is dripping with salt water, sweat, tears, and blood all over your lap, on which his head is laid. His exposed torse shines in the moonlight. “It’s just us now,” he says to you; his voice Read more...

New Vending Machines Filled With Ice Cream

Posted 12:41pm Sunday 22nd March 2020

New ice cream vending machines have appeared in the Link, the Business School, and the Science Library. When first introduced to campus at the start of March, the vending machines were empty. By March 11, they had pricing. The vending machines are now filled with ice cream products, ranging from Read more...

Who to Avoid At Parties, and How to Do It: A Critic Guide

Posted 10:07pm Friday 20th September 2019

I'm a lover of many things. I love staring out of windows, I love ducks, and I love Mitski. But one thing I really don’t like is having to socialise with people I barely know at parties where you can barely hear yourself talk over Darude’s Sandstorm.  So, I created my very Read more...

Students to Watch – Nathan Hollows of Nugget Watch

Posted 9:19pm Friday 20th September 2019

At first glance, Nathan Hollows appears to be just your average CompSci student, but underneath his mild mannered exterior lies the enterprising soul of an entrepreneur. Nathan’s main creation is a website called “Nugget Watch,” which is “dedicated to your hearts deepest Read more...

Otago’s Best Dressed Lecturers

Posted 10:48pm Saturday 17th August 2019

Critic tracked down the lecturers with the hottest threads and awkwardly got them to talk to us about what makes their style so fresh. As any postgrad knows, it's much better to sniff lecturers out and catch them by surprise in the real world - that way they don't have time to ghost your Read more...

Window Shopping

Posted 10:18pm Thursday 18th July 2019

Harry loves Sally, Oprah loves bread, and I love windows. There’s something quite special about staring sombrely out of a window, pretending you’re in some kind of indie movie where you say you hate your parents, but you secretly love them, and you can’t wait to lose your Read more...

Out Standing in His Field

Posted 5:56pm Thursday 11th July 2019

60,000,000 tonnes of beef is eaten worldwide every year. So that settled it. I would have to become a cow. I watched a thrilling documentary called “How to be a Cow” and it was without a doubt the most significant and life-changing 60 seconds of my entire life. From this video, I Read more...

Cultivate Me

Posted 6:12pm Thursday 23rd May 2019

Like many people, I have struggled to discover my place in the world. One day some friends were discussing the Manson murders, which provoked an epiphany. I would indeed find my place … in a cult. I immediately set about attempting to join a cult which is defined following Read more...

The Best Places to Cry Around Uni: A Critic Investigation

Posted 6:50pm Thursday 2nd May 2019

Those of you who know me, and that’s hardly anyone, will know that I am a master of rating things. As a serious investigative journalist, I have tirelessly devoted the past fortnight to unravelling the mysteries of crying places, otherwise known as “wet spots”. Also, I had a whole Read more...