I was just about to leave for uni, so me and my girlfriend at the time wanted to tick as many boxes as we could. We had a pretty kinky sex life – think like, rough rough – but at that point our sex had mostly been box-ticking, so to speak. However, on one fateful and particularly horny day when I asked if she wanted to have sex, she hit me with the: “I don’t wanna just have regular sex though… I wanna do anal.” I’m not a huge fan of anal, but she was super keen for it so I was in the mood, too. Much like all underprepared youths, I went into it guns blazing, cock hard, and no lubrication whatsoever, believing that sheer willpower, determination and horniness alone would suffice. Yeah, this was a bad call, but I tend to learn from my mistakes. And misstrokes. I soldiered on, and went in completely dry. Honestly, I wasn’t thinking about it – and by the sounds she was making, neither was she. It felt kinda mediocre for normal sex, but pretty fucking good for anal. I had no idea that anything had gone wrong, until…
I finished, and thrusted deeper into her. Normally, that’s a pretty good move, but then I pulled out, and something felt wrong. I stared down in shock. There was blood all over her ass. I was starting to panic as she nonchalantly checked, but she was (relatively) unscathed, and told me she felt perfectly fine. We both started mopping up the blood – it was everywhere, pooling in my hands, covering her asshole and…my cock. It was coming from my fucking cock. I’d heard of ripped banjo strings and popped balls by that point, and I was losing it, prodding at my cock and praying to whichever god I’d offended the least that I still had feeling in it. There was so much blood I couldn’t tell which part of my genitals it was coming from, but I didn’t want to think about it too much.
“I need to get to the hospital. Now.” I offered her my car, but it turns out she couldn’t drive, like, at all. Fuck. I chucked on some pants and hobbled to the kitchen to grab a rag, holding it against my cock as I drove us one-handed to the ER. My girlfriend was concerningly nonplussed about the entire ordeal, even though the dickblood rag was red by the time we got there. So there I was, pants off, cock out, in front of the most jurassic doctor I’ve ever fucking seen. This old-ass man confidently grabbed my penis and rolled my foreskin back like he was skinning an animal, and started just jabbing at it. With the blood gone, I could see that the blood was coming from a massive gash almost half the length of my cock. I had managed to slit my dick open inside this chick’s asshole. I think the doctor assumed I’d tried to fuck a vacuum cleaner or something, but when I awkwardly explained it was from anal he gave me some ointment for of the infection risk, and told me I couldn’t have sex for at least a month. I think I gave it like a week, tops.
I learned nothing though, and still have unlubricated anal sex with partners that can’t drive to this day.