DUDE, before MAJOR MAJOR came into my life, I would have never had the confidence to drill a hole into the Vice Chancellor’s office and fill it with bees, but now with MAJOR MAJOR I’m living my true university experience! Let’s all go break bottles on the try-line of Victoria University's first XV rugby pitch. I’m studying a bachelor’s of partying, majoring in MAJOR MAJOR.
BRO! Did you know that the crisp apple flavoured MAJOR MAJOR is the closest thing to fruit I’ve had all year? It tastes totally wicked. The flavour is so authentically apple I’ve been shitting liquid all year, just like I did on that all fruit diet. Sick! I can’t believe I butt-chugged a MAJOR MAJOR in the quad last week while slacklining with my hacky sack team. My girlfriend even said my butt tasted like apples! I haven’t seen a doctor in months!
SIS! Why aren’t you at the party? Your tummy hurts? Well lucky for you, I had a couple of the nerds whip up a MAJOR MAJOR made with ginger ale, specifically designed to combat that crummy tummy! There’s no reason to ever stop drinking when MAJOR MAJOR is available! Woo! Now the panty raid can commence. You better watch out, Cumby Hall, we’re coming for you! No consequences, and no preservatives either!
BREATHA, can you believe it? Last night I drank a box of MAJOR MAJORS, drunkenly stumbled into a nerdy goth girl and knocked off her glasses, only to discover a smoking hot babe underneath. We’ve been dating ever since and it looks like we’re gonna have plenty of time to “study” while we both retake MATH160 during summer school. I have a plan to help both of us pass MATH160 without ever going to class, and it involves me, the Otago University management, and a couple boxes of MAJOR MAJOR.
BRUV, my plan worked a little too well. Management agreed to give us the pass on MATH160 for a few more boxes of MAJOR MAJOR, and one thing led to another, and now the University is in a $60 million deficit and more than 100 staff are being made redundant! Whoops! That’s the last time I use alcohol to meddle with academic bureaucracy. At least until I get my hands on another box of MAJOR MAJORS.
Tasting notes: Quite radical, leaning towards totally wicked.
Chugability: 7/10. That ginger can be a little gnarly, man. Chris Hipkins!
Hangover depression level: 4/10. No harshin this buzz, Kobayashi.
Overall: 8/10. Riding the wave in a MAJOR way.