Columns

Gidday mate,

Firstly apologies for last week’s Presidents column it was a bit shitbox. I let myself down and I let you down. And for that I apologize. You see, I was a rather busy boy last week – as you may have heard we at OUSA threw a wee party down at the Stadium. So I didn’t have much time to give my column the tender sweet attention it so rightly deserves.

Now more about this party I referred to. Every year there is this thing called Orientation Week in which OUSA hosts a week long line-up of sweet tit events. And Oh farrrk yea true to form this year around we blew it out of the fuckin water. The Biggest. The Best. Ever in NZ. PERIOD. Well not period period. Like FULLSTOP (because I feel uncomfortable talking about periods. Seriously it’s as uncomforting as the word moist).Getting back to it, I’m a rather proud man at present. The week all came together like the inside pages of a well utilised communal flat titty mag.

Highlights for me were Dai Henwood (I think I pissed myself a little), smashing a world record for most people ever at a toga party (pending review by the G-W-Book). But the big bawss doggie dawg favourite was without doubt the grand finale of SHAPESHIFTER. They truly are an epic live act.

Any ho, onwards and upwards! Next in my sights is the Hyde St party. This year OUSA is going to help facilitate it by providing refreshments, portaloos and working with police to get a glass ban on the street to stop your wee scarfie feet getting all cut up. Exciting stuff. Will give you an update on where I’m at with it all next week.

Love,
Your Prez.

P.S. If you live on Hyde St make sure you attend the meetings that we’re setting up - Monday 5th March, 6pm at OUSA Clubs and Socs