But with the new season I find myself in front of my iTunes and thinking that it was about time I made a new playlist. I am trying to come up with some witty-yet-perfect title (because the name of the playlist is crucial), and it hit me. I am a playlist whore. I can’t help but make a playlist for every possible situation. So in no particular order, here are my go tos.
1. Weather playlists
Known as “SummerGoodFunTimes” (named in the hope that when played, fun times would ensue), and “Rainy Days” (which is usually for when it, ah, rains). The summer list is obvious – mostly Kiwi dub/roots, the sort of thing you sit in the sun and have a beer to at the end of the day. The Rainy Day list is equally obvious: A little bit whiny, a little bit alternative, and not something I would play with manly men in the room. Cue Adele, José González, Fleet Foxes, and maybe even some cheeky James Blake or Florence and the Machine.2. The gym playlist
You’re thinking about how much you hate the goddamn treadmill and that maybe if you had something worth listening to, you’ll run for half an hour instead of stopping after 10 minutes. I’m pretty sure everyone has the same music on these lists. In fact, if you took the time to take your headphones out, you might discover that the person next to you is playing some upbeat, fast-paced variable of the same music you’re blasting yourself. Enough said.3. The study playlist
Do people actually listen to these? Mine always involve some kind of instrumental or classical music – studying like a boss – but I usually either get one song in and give up, or suddenly realise halfway through that I haven’t heard any of the songs and go back to the start again. If you ask me, this is one of the most pointless playlists anyone can have. Yet we all do.4. The “music that you want people to think you listen to” playlist
Usually called something alty that oozes hipster-ness, this is the playlist you listen to when you’re walking downtown and hoping someone standing next to you at the traffic lights can hear your music and thinks you’re cool. Let’s be honest, there’s nothing worse than a sudden “THAT’S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL!!!” bellowing from your earphones while you wait for the man to turn green. You’ll definitely skip the song faster next time.5. The sex playlist
My personal favourite. An evening spent with a lovely male can be made all the more enjoyable (in every sense of the word) with music to make love to. Boys especially, take note: Angus & Julia Stone, Bon Iver, The xx, and I hear the ladies are loving that new guy Ed Sheeran. There is nothing more satisfying than suddenly realising you “love this song” during no-strings-attached coitus. Just steer clear of a mid-thrust “FUCK BITCHES, GET MONEY”.6 & 7. The socially-conforming playlists
Playlists 6 and 7 are made for other people. Everyone’s got those friends that rape the Top 40 (sorry if that’s you). If you’re the one in charge of the music, then Playlist 6 is what you make – music you hate but everyone else loves, so that people think you have good taste. You know the drill, Nicki Minaj, Jason Deruuuuuulo, Katy Perry… the awful, awful list goes on. Playlist 7 is for the parties you go to where there are people with GOOD taste. Music you actually want to party to. Music that The Edge doesn’t know exists.8. The “you” playlist
Finally, there’s the music you actually want to listen to. After you’ve gone to the trouble of making all these playlists, you finally get to the one you’re going to listen to. But even this one isn’t stealthy – a quick peek at your play counts and the Britney Spears you’ve been secretly thrashing isn’t such a secret any more.So what’s on my list? (Have you noticed yet? I like lists. And brackets). Let me assure you, it has got one witty name. But a good lady doesn’t kiss and tell.
Besides, you’d probably never read my articles again.
