One Direction, JBiebs, Reece Mastin … just a small sample of our daily bombardment of images of young(ish) boys telling us how amazing we are. Despite encouraging cradle-snatching in anyone over the age of 18, these boys – and let’s be honest, if they were girls, it’d be illegal – are all part of something a little bit bigger than just a post-1990s boy band revival.
Take Justin Bieber. The “Youtube sensation” snaffled up by Usher started the craze; his cute fringe and baby face appealed to millions of tweens who had recently learned from Twilight the importance of having a boyfriend. Suddenly, they had a potential one, one that told them how amazing they were, how much he loved them – for fuck’s sake, he was singing to them – and the Beliebers were born. Young girls so delusional and so sure they LOVE Justin Bieber, they’re prepared to make death threats towards any girl he looks twice at. But he must be doing something right; his album debuted at number one, and he’s a multi-millionaire with a babin’ girlfriend and a horde of horny followers.
Then there’s One Direction – the five-piece UK boy band from the X Factor phenomenon. They didn’t even win! After they all got denied early on, love-to-hate-him Simon Cowell combined them into a super group with more hormones than a Double Down. Reece Mastin – the 16-year-old with botox lips – is their Australian counterpart, and he actually did win. Don’t get me wrong, X Factor, American Idol – it’s reality TV at its finest – but we’re starting to get a formula here.
Let’s take some boys that all look the same: They’re young, cute, they can kind of sing. Add some sweet threads and a JBiebs fringe. Next let’s make up a song ... what do little girls dream about? Film a video with your pre-packaged money-makers running around looking “sexy” and BAM! International superstardom. Girls from around the world will flock to see them and behind the scenes you’ll be relaxing in your mansion with a model on each arm.
But why does it work? Last month, two tickets for the sold-out One Direction New Zealand concert went on TradeMe for over $2000. Justin Bieber has cancelled countless concerts because the hordes of horny pre-teens are literally beating each other up to get a glimpse of him. And Simon Cowell, Usher – even Justin Timberlake had a crack – they all know this, and they’re filthy rich because of it.
But the boys are all screwed. They will forever be type-cast as those cuties who got swallowed up in the hype that only lasted until their fans hit high school. Biebs recently tried to prevent that from happening with a new image – he got a haircut, announced to the world that his “balls dropped”, had a pregnancy scare and did a few collabs with some black dudes. He even raps in his new single, because he wants to be “edgier”. It is yet to be seen if his new look will succeed. In a few months, we’ll probably see the fringe back again.
