If you rate your rolling ability, have started watching Marie Kondo on Netflix or just want to try something new, then I highly recommend you try towel folding. Through my extensive research, I’ve found towel folding a great way to relax, an excellent flat bonding activity and an impressive (although apparently useless) skill with which to win friends and influence people. To tell you the truth I’m actually pretty shit at towel folding, but this penis is a foolproof design that even the most phallic-averse can erect with a little practice. If a 12-inch cock intimidates you, with a change in perspective these instructions can double to make a cute elephant.
Equipment: 1 towel, in a colour of your choice.
Difficulty Level: Easy
Start by spreading your towel out on a level surface.
Fold the towel from the middle, lengthways into a triangle.
Fold the top of the triangle underneath the towel.
Tightly roll each side of the triangle towards the middle, until you have a long sausage-looking thing.
Carefully shape the balls and tuck your limp towel penis over a towel rack.
Feel stress and worry leave your body as you impress your flatmates.
