It’s a Monday morning, you’re walking to class and for once you’ve woken up early enough to actually make an effort. Your hair is styled, your clothes are at least a step above sweatpants and that mild sense of organisation has lulled you into a feeling of confidence— when all of a sudden you turn into the Union walk intersection between Richardson, Mellor Labs and Staff Club (it’s the bit with the graduating statues, describing physical locations is hard) and are swept up into chaos, all that effort gone with the wind. It’s a confronting, maddening feeling. It’s not a windy day! But here, in this small corner of the Universe, it’s blowing a fucking gale. Critic investigates.
Although the most infamous wind tunnel undoubtedly lies with that fun walk from Union Place to St Dave’s, there are more of these suckers all around campus. If we were going to choose a winner it would have to go to the lesser-known little space between the Richardson and Te Tumu buildings. According to multiple lecturers, several years ago a PhD student was thrown against the wall of the Richardson in that very spot, breaking her hand. Apparently she was unable to open the original doors so walked around the side of the building and straight into a wind tunnel strong enough to lift a human being. The smooth operating sliding doors we now know and trust were apparently a result of the incident.
Urban legend or not, it begs the question: Did the architects take weather into consideration at all when building the Uni? Geography Professor Mike Hilton claims “nope, no. It was the last thing on their minds.” They did, however, factor in the age-old motivation of dollar bills. The architectural genius that you see around campus such as the Law Library (1969) or the Business School (1991) were built like boxes because they were “very cost-efficient”, claimed Professor Hilton. What they didn’t know was that the structure, distance and location of the buildings were going to interact beautifully with that good ol’ Dunedin wind to make walking to lectures on a windy day a true adventure. Those bastards.
For those out there who would prefer a slightly more scientific explanation than Mother Nature just having a laugh at our expense, here’s a rundown from Professor Hilton, simplified for the ones less physics-inclined. “Any building will create a wind effect; a tunnel is basically when you have any two buildings that are close together. The law of conservation of mass means that when two buildings are adjacent the wind has to speed up in order to get through that space to the other side.” Believe it or not, buildings cannot change mass so the wind adapts by steering itself around and over them, flowing from high to low pressure. These directional changes essentially cause areas of accelerated wind flow and chaos for the unsuspecting fresher just trying their best to snag that perfect seat in St Dave’s. So in high wind conditions, even those buildings a little further apart, like the Richardson and the Mellor Labs, may cause some compression of flow and therefore acceleration.
Dunedin is a very exposed windy place, so advice from Professor Hilton for those looking to avoid a wardrobe malfunction: Beware of the sail effect. “If you are wearing a lot of clothing then you will present more resistance to the wind. Imagine a yacht on the ocean on a windy day” and just don’t do it. Better yet, strip it down and be a kayak.
After speaking to a couple of students, it’s apparent that the struggle is real. “It’s so hard to walk against the wind on campus, I’ve even been late to class before despite leaving on time,” Melissa told us. Once, students Piper and Lola streaked across campus one fateful evening, and found that it was much easier than when they did it clothed. Whether the alcohol played a part in that is anyone’s guess. It seems counter-intuitive, but that’s science baby.
So, for all you thrill-seeking wind tunnel fanatics— you know who you are— rumour has it there’s a playground of hotspots out there for you to check out. Or to complain about. We deserve better, we deserve the freedom to wear skirts without fear.