Last weekend, the Kinoko Homes Beavers defeated the Aotea Amps to win the coveted B-League Dunedin Ice Hockey finals, because nothing is more important than B-level ice hockey in a city about as far away from Canada as physically possible.
This meant that, for the second year in a row, student media has taken home the cup. Critic was on the winning team last year, the Bombers, who were beaten in the semis this year by Radio One’s Dave Borrie and the Beavers. The semis were, arguably, the main event of the season, being far more dramatic and entertaining than any of the higher-level games which were too fast-paced for our bloodshot eyes to follow.
The final score was 3-1. We think. We don’t really remember the end of the game. It was a close affair, though, until the final few minutes, when the Amps gave up a goal despite having a 5-to-3 skater advantage over the Beavers. You know what they say: never trust a beaver. Or something.
Dave Borrie, of Radio One and Cromwell fame, played an excellent game, complete with at least one glorious tumble. He suspects he bruised or otherwise broke a rib, and was spotted later in the night using his trophy to sink RedBull vodkas, as he should. He told Critic Te Ārohi that “What was the garbage I was speaking? I dunno. I was the rookie of the year though, and they’ll never take that away from me.”
He also said “I played such shit game”, which was interesting, because we rated it. “But the team was fucking awesome,” said Dave, “shoutout to the Beavers. I’ve never been on a team that’s won anything, so that’s good. I’m literally never gonna forget winning the B-League. I’m literally never gonna stop talking about it. My grandkids are gonna hear about it. Your grandkids are gonna hear about it. And you can take that to the bank.”
Ice hockey continues to grow in Dunedin, which has arguably the best ice in the country. The new season will be starting up soon, so head to their website to sign up.