After U-Bar was SWAMPED with closure for much of the second half of first semester (cue wails from Pint Night loyalists), its semester two debut was OUSA’s very own Shrek rave – presented by yours truly.
Boasting free entry and complimentary glow sticks – potentially in a bid to distract punters from the lack of real mud and trees in the ‘swamp’ – the event’s tunes from arguably the 2000s most iconic movie franchise were ostensibly frothed.
Having to compete with Castle’s ‘Ski-Apres’ themed night, U-Bar provided a slightly warmer and stickier vibe (ew). Many attendees committed to the Shrek theme, with plenty of Shreks, Donkeys and even a Fairy Godmother or two spotted. Having the Kingdom of Far Far Away be right on campus made for an unbeatable location.
It didn’t take much for U-Bar to embrace the swampiness, with the sweat and stickiness oozing organically. Ogre-green mood lighting was beaming from all sources, and a photo frame for ‘Wanted: Fairytale Creatures’ roamed the dance floor throughout the night. Naughty. The absence of Shrek’s outhouse was the only thing holding U-Bar back from 100% swamp status (although rumour has it the men’s bathroom wasn’t far off).
Despite an initially slow start at 9pm (a nice break from the Pint Night line), students truly began to live la vida loca from about 10:30pm. The DJ – refusing to wear the bonnet on his gender-confused wolf costume – was spinning all the Shrek classics. The dance floor went particularly feral over ‘I’m a Believer’, ‘Holding out for a Hero’, ‘Funkytown’ and ‘Accidentally in Love’.
To celebrate the Shrektivities, U-Bar was offering special ‘swap shots’ for $7, a questionable combination of Midori and Baileys. Critic admired the innovation, until it was pointed out by one staff member’s mum that it was, in fact, just a rebranded quick fuck shot (and apparently a favourite of hers). Indeed, one ardent attendee told a very sober Critic Te Ārohi that it went pretty hard.
Critic’s Editor Nina (i.e. Journalism’s Queen Lillian), said, “Shout-out to the chick who turned up painted green, complete with a green swimming cap.” She must’ve been a believer in a bloody good time, easily outdoing Nina’s three blind mice costume. Another unintentional attraction of the night were the bedazzled Critic sunnies that debuted at Hyde Street Party, pictured on the cover of issue 7. As for the Swamp Rave? We’ve never seen Lord Farquad look so chic.
A special mention needs to be given to the U-Bar security guards, who appeared to be going above and beyond the call of duty. Critic informally counted at least 20 people being kicked – despite there being a relatively low level of intoxication on the night. In one conversation alone, three people were frog-marched out (one actually was a frog) in the space of minutes. Could this be an ogre-reaction?
By the time midnight rolled around, Shrek bangers were gradually substituted for club classics – including ‘Club Classics’ to the delight of the girls who’d had “brat” displayed on their phones all night. ‘Mr Brightside’ managed to get all manner of fairytale creatures flooding the dancefloor for one last hurrah.