Dunedin's iconic nightclub, Suburbia (Subs if you’re a real one), has introduced a new initiative aimed at keeping patrons' puku’s full and vomit off the floors. Taking a leaf out of residential colleges’ book, Subs has launched ‘Toast Time’, a weekly event held every Thursday from 10pm until closing. Say what you want about Subs – they know their crowd.
The club’s novel approach to helping students sober up (offering white bread toast) has raised eyebrows and sparked curiosity. “Toast Time is inspired by the toast time that many first-year halls have,” Subs explained to Critic Te Ārohi. “Our Thursdays draw in a huge crowd, so we wanted to play into that.” The success of the idea was evident on its unadvertised debut night when the club went through 18 loaves of bread. Assuming your average serving is two slices, that’s about 150 booze-soaked stomachs settled.
Subs are chuffed that the initiative addresses two key challenges: keeping patrons moving throughout the club rather than congregating in entryways and staircases, and establishing a reputation for something beyond the usual cheap drinks that most bars use to lure in customers. But those are great, too.
Reactions from students have been mixed. Amelia, a self-described avid town-goer, shared her thoughts: “Even if Subs isn't my preferred club, it is a good idea [...] I do get extremely ravenous on a night out, so this would be fire.”
However, some older students were less enthusiastic, dismissing the club as a fresher haunt where they “wouldn't be caught dead.” Ronny, a fourth-year Finance student, voiced his concerns, saying, “What about my gluten-free homies? Classic, just another establishment denying the fact that celiacs exist.” Nicole, who is gluten-free, added, “God, I would never eat toast in a club – and that’s not just because I’m celiac.”
Refuting the claim that Subs was only for freshers, Jono (second-year student and Subs-frother) commented, “Sounds great, though I am a little worried about the cross-contamination because Vegemite in my jam is not pleasant […] but at the end of the day, drunk Jono loves toast.”
The club noted that many students grabbed a few slices on their way out, so the next time you find yourself in town, consider grabbing a “jam roadie” as you head home. Fuck yeah, jam hands.