The Zoo was heaving on Saturday, February 22nd, for the famous Inflatey180. The Inflatey180, which is to the Highlanders game what Kendrick Lamar was to the Superbowl, is the half-time entertainment that everyone really went to see. Each hall (except 192 Castle and Carrington) put forward a tribute – last year it was freshers, but they more humanely reserved the spots for subwardens this year.
The Inflatey180 was launched at the first home game for the Highlanders last year. The race between inflatable-costumed freshers proved so popular that OUSA brought it back for another year. Either that or they couldn’t think of anything else and wanted to get their money’s worth: a quick Google told Critic that at around $70 a pop for the costumes from LookSharp, this zoo cost OUSA $1050. But can you really put a price tag on humiliation-based humour?
The Blues and Highlanders warmed up the packed-out Zoo of students in the pre-match. The Blues entered the field to Miley Cyrus’ ‘Party in the USA’ (receiving a warm buzz) while the Highlander’s entered to bagpipe-accompanied ‘Thunder’ (cue roars). Students denied taking bets on what hall would win – shit’s all underground now.
Confidence was high among the gathered RAs before the race. Before suiting up, Cumby RA Tama and Locals’ Oe told Critic Te Ārohi they had decent support in the Zoo – Tama by his residents, Oe by his friends (his plea for Locals’ support going rudely unanswered). Oe expressed wishes for a penguin costume, presumably to slide to victory over the try line. Critic overheard other RAs worrying about the practicality of the costumes: “What if I need to go to the bathroom?”
Mayhem ensued in the changing room. Radio One’s Logan was distraught when someone took the koala costume he’d trained in. The zipper came off the dinosaur costume. The giraffe was completely unusable. Oe realised there wasn’t a penguin costume. All the while, the banana gave the ape a wide berth.
A score update when the New Zoo had filed out to wait in the wings revealed that the Highlanders were lagging by one point, 13-14. OUSA Events Coordinator Dane announced: “Your job is to inspire the Highlanders.” OUSA Events Assistant Becca commented with glee, “This is maybe my favourite event that we do.” Critic wondered why the chicken costume sported a six-pack and not breasts.
New Zoo was led past the exiting ‘Landers onto the field at half-time (ghosting Critic’s high-five). As they took their places, the stadium commentator worried about the deflated state of some of the contestants: “Look at the T-Rex, what’s happened to his head?” pointing to the decidedly uninflated dino head that flopped to the side. The shark was similarly flaccid. The flamingo had a clear and unfair advantage, being the only contestant with his upper torso unconfined by plastic.
And then they were off. The koala (not Logan, someone else) took the lead. “The unicorn! Doing it for the rainbow community today!” yelled the commentator, a queer ally. On the way back from the far posts, the pig sped ahead, closely followed by the panda. It looked like he’d take the dub – until he tripped. “Go piggy – OH NO!” yelled Queer Ally commentator. “The panda at the last minute!” The pig, refusing to give his name, later told Critic: “I ate shit bro.”
Unbothered by the circumstances of his win, the panda ran around pulling the bird (Knox dove gang sign) while a couple girls in the Zoo were spotted also pulling the bird (derogatory). Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the winner, Knox RA Andrew, back in the changing rooms. Proving himself to be a man of few words (or perhaps out of breath), the shiny-faced Andrew simply replied: “Exhausted.” Did he rate his chances to win beforehand? “Yeah, I had a feeling.” Did he have Knox support in the crowd? “Yeah there’s a few in the crowd.” How would he describe the feeling of winning? “Oh, it’s great.” Any other comments? “Nah.”
Nice chatting to you, Andrew.