It all started one fateful O-Week day. At 4:08 am, Cumberland resident Alex sent a message to the college-wide Snapchat which shook the college to its core: “There was a fucking ghost in my room.” Cue Critic.
Alex lives on the Classical floor of Cumby. According to him, he woke up around 4 am to find “this fucking girl was beside my bed.” Another resident responded to Alex’s distressed Snap asking if the wretched, bitter spirit was “keen”. Alex’s apparent reply: “She was, quote-unquote, a baddie.” The rest of Cumberland was less amused. Spreading like wildfire, the tale has struck fear for one reason: Alex had seen the Grey Lady.
This isn’t the first time Critic Te Ārohi has reported sightings of the Cumby ghost, affectionately referred to as the Grey Lady. The most recent sighting was in ancient times (2012). Back then, two Health-Sci students had been struck by a putrid stench and slight chill before they witnessed an apparition racing at them “like a train.”
The sightings sparked a media craze. The ODT, Critic Te Ārohi, and Dunedin ghost-tour company Hair Raiser Tours all reported the apparition as the Grey Lady, who (while walking this earth) was supposedly confined to the psychiatric ward in the 1920s during Cumberland’s past life as a Nursing House. Judged unfit to keep her child, she passed away, grief-stricken. A scare spread across Cumberland, with rumours of her still out seeking her child. To calm the genuinely frightened cohort, a prayer was conducted back in 2012 to “reaffirm the presence of God” – which doesn’t seem to have done the trick. Who thought Cumberland residents would be able to drive away the presence of God?
A group of residents spilt the tea to Critic Te Ārohi about her most recent sighting, each recently visited by the Lady. They insisted her curse was to blame for mysteries in their rooms, experiencing everything from mould, strange smells, a water leak, a gas leak, and even drinks disappearing — scary stuff for anyone who hasn’t lived in a North D flat. When asked what preceded the first sighting of the ghastly granny, a mate of Alex’s murmured, “Uh, I think it was O-Week, so we can probably guess…” Hard study, we imagine.
What spooks up the story are the familiar themes. Description of the Lady’s presence as “smelly”, fear of ghostly room invasions, and Snapchat sexual innuendo are all consistent with the 2012 pandemonium. The initial sightings were accompanied by “putrid smells”, fear-struck sleepovers, and shirts reading “I fucked the Grey Lady.” As long as you wore protection, babe.
Each story paints a shifting picture: she “lives in the bathroom mirrors”, she hates the Classical floor, and urine in all four corners of the elevator is her sending a “mysterious message”. Adding to the confusion, Hair Raiser Tours alleged that the original sighting was, in fact, of a ghastly gentleman ghost. A veteran former staff member had heard nothing until 2012, and reported a genial ghoul, quietly protecting the fifth-floor repairmen (aww). One resident even asked us (we do the questioning round here!) if he was right in thinking it was a nurse’s spectre, contradicting every other account.
We’re not qualified to say. We can, however, gently suggest a trip to KnowYourStuff next time O-Week comes around for any of those street hallucinogens you and your mates may be jamming. For all ghost-related tips, email news@critic.co.nz or summon Critic Te Ārohi via Ouija board. Stay blessed.