The Exec meeting last week didn’t bring the same level of drama as the week prior. They managed to stay out of confidential committee for the duration of the meeting, which unfortunately meant Critic Te Ārohi had to take notes the whole time – admittedly zoning out during the 20 minute club constitution discussion. Here’s the tea.
Mr President Liam merrily began the meeting at 9:02am (again) after a brief delay caused by a Precinct coffee delivery from Stella’s boyfriend. OUSA CEO Debbie’s absence was noted, who Liam had essentially told not to bother joining given the lack of OUSA-related items on the agenda. She happily obliged – perhaps with flashbacks of Bailey the dog's flatulence the week before.
The Exec round-up revealed everyone’s feeling the ramping up of uni assignments. As Liam’s dissertation is due soon, he announced he’d be taking the latter part of that day to give it some attention – ignoring two “urgent” emails from Prof Robert Patman as a result, who that day had a seminar planned speaking about the genocide in Gaza. Coincidence? “If anyone sees Robert Patman, you don’t know me,” he joked.
Other Execcy comments included Stella reiterating how “dumb” (which she said three times) the 15-point paper proposal from one unidentified Uni group is. She is planning to write a discussion paper expressing these thoughts. Residential Rep Callum was gearing up (planning, not taking MDMA) to visit residential colleges and introduce himself to the freshers. Welfare Rep Amy was still in meeting planning mode. Everyone’s favourite BCOM student Daniel had again been “talking about finances”, and noted that Liam had spent $8.86 on coffee in January. “I’m really getting away with murder here,” said Liam.
One of the ‘big deals’ for OUSA coming up is the establishment of the Aotearoa Tertiary Student Association, the phoenix that rose from the ashes of the New Zealand Student Union (NZUSA). “There’s just a lot of acronyms,” Welfare Rep Amy complained, staring at the latest ATSA minutes – including quips from a seemingly bored secretary given they notes that AUSA was “rawdogging peanut . That’ll happen when you invite a bunch of student associations to a meeting. Unfortunately, it seemed as if ATSA was starting down a similar path to its predecessor, with conversation “[freezing] up” when it came to discussing money and paying working groups, according to Liam. Based on what Liam described, it seems like no work on ATSA can be done until this is resolved, and the ball is in the Auckland Student Association’s court to get things rolling again. Watch this space.
Postgrad Rep Josh had an update from the Society for Postgrads (funnily enough). The discussion was mostly budget-related, with Liam realising that he still needed to authorise payment for this year's budget and pay it through. This would have been no problem, but was compounded by the realisation that he would also need to pay for the 2026 budget this year (“That’s tough – okay…”). Double homicide. Some shots were fired at ex-Pres Keegan for failing to send through the 2025 budget last year, before the budget got approved (yay Postgrads!).
Perhaps the most enthusiastic part of the meeting was Stella’s agenda item: Fish of the Year (“I’m a fish girl”). This came after the previous agenda item about volunteering for Riding for the Disabled, where she’d also come out as a horse girl. She announced her determination to back “insert animal here” as much as possible this year, expressing disappointment over having already missed the insect competition.
After a loud debate over whether to accept Stella’s nomination of the shortjaw kōkupu, noting its endangered status due to us Kiwis eating their babies in fritters (whitebait), or the “fuck ugly fish” Liam counter-Googled and a “whale shark, fuck yeah!” Stella won, and immediately submitted a vote for the kōkopu on behalf of OUSA – prompting a quip from Liam about using Exec powers for personal political agendas.
Almost an hour into the meeting and it was beginning to drag. It was around then that they reached the club affiliation agenda item, one which Critic Te Ārohi didn’t anticipate taking 20 minutes. The constitutions submitted by three clubs for the Exec’s approval – the Swiftie Club, Mahjong Club, and the Jewish Students Club – were not up to scratch, apparently.
Amid frankly rude giggles about the Swiftie Club and suggestions for Taylor Swift to be made a life member (Callum reckoned it couldn’t hurt to email), concerns raised by the Exec about the constitutions focused on the fine print: issues included not having OUSA policies, such as non-discrimination clauses, and unconstitutional proportions of non-students on execs. Clubs and Socs Rep Deborah intended on getting back in touch with the clubs with a “try again next time”.
Upcoming events of note on the Execcy’s calendars were St Paddy’s Day, ANZAC Day, a visit from Chris “Chippy” Hipkins, Laps for Life for suicide prevention (Liam asked Critic not to note that he reckoned it would help him to “score brownie points” with the organiser, who’s on Uni Council) and OUSA’s 135th birthday celebrations in May that would be organised by the ‘Committee for Enjoyable Occasions’ (not kidding) – including a dinner with an anticipated $150 a head.
Returning Exec members Liam and Stella dished out some advice for the first two events: not to take any media calls on St Paddy’s Day (“it will not be favourable”), to “pick up cans and shit” at the Cemetery after students piss up there (“great publicity for us”), and to bring gloves if anyone’s holding a flag at the ANZAC day service. Oh, and to make sure not to wear pyjamas to the dawn service.