News

Students can hardly contain themselves
 
Critic was literally frothing at the gash when they found out the details of the upcoming OUSA referendum, and undoubtedly the rest of our readers are equally hot and bothered about getting their sticky little fingers on the scoop.
 
Aware, however, that many students find OUSA, and particularly the OUSA constitution, about as exciting as a group of octogenarian Norwegian grandmothers masturbating in a sauna, senior management dispatched reporter Lozz Holding to cover the piece in a Scarfie accessible manner.
 
Writing in the third person, Holding speculated that the assignment was punishment for throwing a tantrum during a meeting in the Staff Club after the barista refused to make him an iced chocolate. Speaking to Critic, Critic editor Julia Hollingsworth confirmed that the story was punitive in nature.
 
In terms of the referendum, students will be asked to vote on whether the OUSA levies should be set to $0 or not. Basically if you vote ‘yes’, signing up to OUSA will be free next year. If you vote ‘no’, you are suggesting the executive should go back to the drawing board on this one. Quite what alternative would satisfy someone who votes ‘no’ is difficult to imagine. Perhaps you want to be paid to be a member? Hey, if you don’t ask, you don’t get.
 
The next question asks whether the proposed 2012 budget should be accepted in its entirety. You can find details of the budget on the OUSA website, alternatively check out the literally mind-blowingly delicious infographic on page 15 of last week’s Critic. By voting ‘yes’, you will be signifying that OUSA should use this budget. By voting ‘no’, you will be forcing the Executive to sit through several more painstaking hours of meetings. Lol.
 
The final vote that will undoubtedly get your panties soggy with decision-making excitement is whether the current constitution should be revoked and substituted with the amended one. Seeing as how almost two people have read the constitution, Critic has summarised the changes for your enjoyment. The new version will remove the building levy; reduce the colleges and communications officer’s job to just colleges rep; tidy up the voting process; introduce more frequent Student General Meetings (SGMs) and ensure all membership regulations align with the VSM legislation. Exciting stuff.
 
The student forum at which the above motions were discussed was held on Thursday October 6. A whopping eight people turned up to the forum, including the Exec members themselves and Joe Stockman, who chaired the event. The person counting the attendees was also included in the count. That shit is complicated.