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The last golden era of heavyweight boxing is over. Mike Tyson is still in Vegas but he’s inexplicably hosting a one-man show. Evander Holyfield would get back in the ring if they would let him (he has at least nine kids to at least six different women so he needs the money for child support). Our own David Tua can’t knock anyone out anymore (Shane Cameron doesn’t count). The Klitschkos won’t fight each other. The heavyweight division has never been more boring. The only thing keeping professional boxing alive is the prospect of Mayweather v Pacquiao. A fight that looks like it may never happen.

Enough about boxing, this is about MMA (Mixed Martial Arts). The UFC (the company that runs events in the States) has stepped into the void left by boxing and turned MMA into the marquee combat sport in the world. UFC dominates the pay-per-view market in America. Champion fighters such as Jon “Bones” Jones are rockstars and the UFC brand generates billions in revenue. In the last five years the sport has spread around the world. Australia is obsessed with it, but here in New Zealand we have been a little slow on the uptake. The sport has a loyal underground following but threatens to go mainstream at anytime.

Fight Night 8 – Demolition, hosted by Hammerhead MMA was held at the Caledonian Hall on April 28. This was the first MMA I had ever seen live. The UFC has occasionally piqued my interest on TV but I would never claim to have an intimate knowledge of the sport. Still, free tickets are free tickets.

The cage dominated the centre of the sold-out hall. It was all black and a lot bigger than it looks on TV. Every time the fighters entered the cage the door was symbolically bolted, the ring girl did a lap with the card and then they went at it. Hardly any rules, man-on-man action.

Fighters varied widely in size, style and skill. The rangy Muay Thai style fighters put on a completely different show to the hulking grapplers and brawlers. Some of the best action came in the lower weight divisions; sometimes it was like being at a cockfight. I expected to see Mexicans tossing paper bills into the cage.

From a spectator’s point of view the best fights to watch were those where the fighters gave up on defence and just tried to beat each other up. These tended to be between the older fighters. I’m sure MMA purists will disagree, but the younger fighters seemed over-coached on defence and ended up not really doing a lot in the ring. Mike Pascoe and Joe Blee showed the young guys how it was done in a bloody brawl which I thought was the most exciting of the night.

There were too many fights to mention them all here. To the untrained eye Chase Haley looked a cut above everyone we saw. He destroyed his opponent with a vicious head kick. He also had the best entry music.

Team Hammerhead (the locals) won all five fights they competed in. Many of the fights were close enough to be decided on points but there were enough knockouts and submissions to keep the young and bourbon-fuelled crowd happy.

Quote of the night goes to James “Pitbull” Bishop whose strategy consisted of “don’t stop till the cunt’s dead.”

There’s another fight night scheduled for July so get your tattoos now.