Sometimes the dictionary definition of a word just doesn’t cut it. According to the ivory-tower intellectuals who wrote the Oxford Dictionary, tomatoes are a fruit. Tell me, geniuses, when’s the last time you saw one in a fruit salad? The word “sport” is even more vexing – every man and his Tux Wonder-dog claims that his own obscure, one-dimensional hobby counts as a “sport” because of the legitimacy the term provides. Shamefully, the dictionaries of the world are complicit in enabling such misrepresentations. It’s time to return the term “sport” to its original, narrow meaning. Here’s how to separate the real sports from the wannabes:
01 | Closed skills are not sports
The first hurdle for qualification as a sport (NB: hurdling is not a sport) is that it must involve open skills. An open skill is performed in a constantly changing environment, where the competitor must react to things happening around him/her. One example is cricket, in which the batsman must react to the speed and direction of each ball as it is bowled, while the bowler must constantly adjust his strategy to avoid becoming predictable. Another example is boxing – each fighter must dodge or attack as the situation demands. Most team sports, as well as all martial arts, are based on open skills.Closed skills are performed in a stable environment, where there is no need for any adaptation to circumstances that crop up during the event. For example, 100m sprinters simply sprint as fast as they can. They can’t leave their own lane, and they can’t interact with their opponents in any way. The same applies to rowing. Closed skills such as sprinting and rowing lack the dynamic and strategic elements that are a key part of any genuine “sport”.
This article is not intended as a criticism of closed skills, many of which are challenging and impressive athletic endeavours. But they’re not sports. Some genuine sports require the occasional performance of closed skills, such as penalty kicks in football and free throws in basketball. But on the whole, players in these sports are moving around and choosing which actions to take in a dynamic environment.
The Olympic Games should represent the pinnacle of human physical achievement in certain athletic pursuits. It is not the right place for sport. The Ancient Greek Olympics had the right idea, being packed with closed skills like javelin-throwing, discus, and long jump. The modern Olympics include other worthwhile closed skills such as cycling, triathlon, and gymnastics. A few sports have snuck in since the modern revival of the Olympics in 1896 (such as tennis and volleyball), but like a homo erectus at a bronze tool-making class, they clearly don’t belong. The only exceptions are combat sports like boxing and judo, which fit with the spirit of the ancient Olympics.
02 | Sports can’t be played in skinny jeans
Real sports involve at least a small amount of physical exertion, so they can’t be played to the best of one’s ability while wearing skinny jeans or a miniskirt. Sporty Spice wouldn’t have worn those Adidas sweatpants if she was just going to play snooker or Texas Hold’em. She needed the flexibility and durability they provided while playing sport. The bar is not set very high for this requirement – even golf qualifies under the skinny jeans test, despite being suitable for overweight septuagenarians. But the test does rule out purely mental pursuits such as chess and debating. And don’t even try to call video games “E-sports”. That’s like calling sociology a science.03 | Sports don’t have cars, horses or boats
If you’re sitting in a car, riding on a horse, or sailing in a boat, it’s not a sport. Being responsible for moving around solely through the use of one’s arms and legs is a crucial element of sport. As soon as you add machines or horses into the equation, you’re dealing with something completely different. Like the name of Dunedin restaurant “Great Taste”, the word “motorsport” is severely misleading.After applying these three rules, there are only 14 sports being played at London 2012. And most of them don’t belong in the Olympics. Finally, always remember the golden rule: if you have to ask whether something is a sport, the answer is probably no.
