Professors around the globe have been blown away by a recent Otago Uni study which found that hydrogen sulphide (H2S), the gas that gives farts their characteristic odour, could reduce the symptoms of asthma.
The results came from a sample of over 1600 Rotorua residents, a popular tourist destination for those who think fun stinks, between 2008 and 2010. Only a small number of participants were actually asthma sufferers, and Critic suggests that the results of the study smell a little bit off.
Professor Julian Crane of Otago Uni’s Wellington Campus was involved in the study. When asked about the possibility of using H2S in asthma prevention medicines, he told Critic it was “unlikely, but nothing is impossible.”
While sniffing around the heady findings, Critic’s investigatory team revealed that low amounts of hydrogen sulphide can put a mouse into an induced hypothermic state, which calls for caution around exposure to the substance. Critic speculates that “social farting” is indeed the new “social smoking” after all.
An in-house experiment was also carried out, in which a prospective intern was locked in a closet-sized bathroom after a three-course Indian BYO. In contrast to the results of the official study, the subject reported, “It was even harder to breathe. The smell alone nearly gave me an asthma attack.”
When asked whether or not H2S exposure gives asthma sufferers instant relief, Crane replied, “Absolutely not.” Crane also assured Critic that there is no area in Dunedin that releases levels of H2S similar to Rotorua.
Critic later discovered that H2S has a far more important benefit than reducing asthma symptoms. The chemical is naturally produced in small quantities by the human body, and is known to relax smooth muscle and cause erections, potentially inspiring a re-think of the asthma inhaler. The mystery of Rotorua’s rapid breeding rate has finally been solved.
Smelling Gastly helps Weezing and Koffing
