Spiked: An Invisible Crime

Posted 11:02pm Sunday 19th May 2024

TW: Mentions of sexual assault and detailed depictions of drink spiking  At university, everyone seems to know someone who’s been spiked. The phenomenon hangs in the air at flat parties and lingers about the bathrooms of student bars, yet remains grossly stigmatised. Following Read more...

Opinion: You Suck at Instant Noodles

Posted 6:49pm Sunday 5th May 2024

There are but three things in this miserable world that are able to give me any semblance of something akin to joy: soup, frugality, and the quiet bliss of an instruction manual. Basically, the way everyone makes their instant noodles in this goddamn city is ensuring I will be first in line at Read more...

Drug Trip Simulator

Posted 1:06pm Sunday 14th April 2024

1. Look outside. It’s a beautiful day; the sun's shining, the birds are chirping, and you've got the itch for something special to make today one to remember. Who are you calling? A: The Regular (go to 3) B: The shady guy who your mate’s flatmate’s sister knows (go to Read more...

Firecracker Airfryer Edibles

Posted 12:54pm Sunday 14th April 2024

Firecrackers are a classic stoner treat, typically made with graham crackers and peanut butter. But due to the exodus of our American staff (good riddance) Critic does not know what graham crackers are – and does not wish to learn. Here they are with biscuits and nutella instead. The weed Read more...

Trans Sex For Dummies

Posted 4:47pm Saturday 23rd March 2024

Disclaimer: This article includes discussion and description of transgender bodies, with anatomical and occasionally gendered language. It mainly focuses on personal experiences of pre-op trans people on HRT, but a lot of this can be applied to trans people at other stages of their Read more...

The Student Cult (Chur)

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 17th March 2024

I don’t fully understand why I did what I did, but most of it can be chalked up to desperation, autism, and a strange attraction to this godforsaken city. Not all of it, though. There’s something about Dunedin. There’s something about going to the oldest university in our young Read more...

The Official Dunedin Old Test

Posted 3:36pm Saturday 2nd March 2024

Have you ever… Bailed on Pint Night? Hosted a potluck/dinner party? Bought a $14+ bottle of wine? Brought just a 6-pack on a night out?  Refrained from drinking because your tummy hurt? Left a BYO basically sober? Purchased a textbook (and used it)? Declined free Read more...

Flo-Week Theme Review: 2024

Posted 4:04pm Sunday 25th February 2024

Monday: Back to School (Courtyard)  Flo-Week opened with a strong start at Courtyard, running the tried and true ‘Back to School’ theme. The look book for the night was composed of pleated skirts and unironed white collars, with a fair sprinkling of kit from local high Read more...

Fresher Simulator: O-Week

Posted 4:13pm Monday 19th February 2024

1. Welcome (Start here) You’re a fresher (our condolences) arriving at Dunedin airport for the first time ever. You marvel at all the butt-fuck-nowhere around you. Off to collect your luggage! Where did you fly in from, again? A: Auckland (Go to 11) B: Somewhere else (Go to Read more...

Goops, I did it again! An idiot’s guide to stain removal

Posted 4:11pm Monday 19th February 2024

Happiness is fleeting, we all die, and nothing is truly permanent. Nothing, that is, except for stains that you don’t get out in time (fuck you especially, red wine). O week is full of shenanigans that can ruin your clothes, soft furnishings, and possibly your future. Luckily, Critic is no Read more...