ODT Watch | Issue 04

Posted 8:06pm Thursday 14th March 2019 by R. RY, Bachelor of Arts

It’s another week of ODT Watch. You know what that means:   This week the ODT perfectly captured my feelings about the ODT: Although the flourishing doesn’t seem to apply to their journalists’ bedrooms:   Surely this could have been phrased Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 26

Posted 11:27am Sunday 8th October 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start the last issue of ODT Watch for the year we thought we’d give you a great example of one of the ODT’s staples: puns. Yes, it is about two dogs getting married. Props for the rhyme as well.   Clearly drunk off their titular success, the ODT forgot that they did Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 25

Posted 10:11am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week we would like to devote all our space (and most of the Facts and Figures space as well) to addressing the ODT’s cryptic and eye catching post-election image. Interestingly, the ODT decided to avoid any specific reference to Game of Thrones in the picture; presumably to throw Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 24

Posted 11:16am Sunday 24th September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

Good morning, ODT. That’s lovely ODT. Well done.   This week the ODT has decided to start a column on how hard different South Island towns are. Next week, Greymouth goes the gym, drinks whatever alcohol Swilliam is reviewing, and then beats someone Read more...

ODT Watch | Wedding Edition

Posted 11:29am Sunday 17th September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week we journey hand-in-hand into the wonder that is the ODT Wedding Guide. Hell, yes!   No matter what you do, do NOT let any women speak at your wedding They’ll only gossip, nag, and tell everybody that they don’t want to be there and are being sold by Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 22

Posted 11:22am Sunday 10th September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start this week, the ODT are reporting on perhaps the best story ever. Yip, it’s a father-son fashion competition. Unfortunately, they provided a picture of a group of winners. Wow, three people wearing caps and sunglasses. What co-ordination, what elegance, what subtle Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 21

Posted 11:02am Sunday 3rd September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start this week, the ODT is reporting on something that will revolutionise agriculture. Just imagine a future where humans are able to grow crops. Close your eyes and imagine. Just imagine.   Next, the ODT has finally lost the ability to tell young people (people under the age Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 20

Posted 10:54am Sunday 20th August 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

Make way! The messiah is among us. Make way! For He shall lead us through the fire.   Then, a cutting piece of investigative journalism. Turns out melons cost more in winter. Who knew.   This week the ODT has some truly mindbending wisdom to Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 19

Posted 11:06am Sunday 13th August 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week a mysterious event has thrown the ODT office into even more confusion, suspicion and vibration than normal.  Spontaneous combustion is just a normal day at the ODT. Unfortunately the flames were a curious beige-khaki. And wet. The ODT doesn’t like being wet. It reminds Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 18

Posted 11:32am Sunday 6th August 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start this week, Being paid to think is a fool’s game. I’m paid (in the unspoken affirmation of strangers) to insult the ODT, and loving it.   Next, the ODT’s wildest dreams have come true  All of our normal swans are on loan from the Queen. The Read more...