As it’s music month, I can’t think of any better time to introduce this gem from the past: ACT MP David Seymour’s first appearance on the decks as a DJ, from back in his days as a student at Auckland Uni.
This is honestly such an important part of NZ music culture and I can’t believe more people don't know it exists. It’s perfect; the lighting, the crowd, the nudity, everything. It’s a seminal moment in the history of our sonic culture, and I’m honestly gutted that he’s left the decks behind.
But it’s got me thinking: which of our parties would be the best at a party? Who’d spin the best decks? ACT obviously has a star candidate in David, although if he hasn’t been practising over the last 20 years he might be a bit rusty. But we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt (even if it’s the only benefit he believes in lol).
The Greens had the right song choices but insisted on spinning actual vinyl. Plus, while they preach equitable funding to artists, they didn’t have the funding to buy the vinyls, so they just used a YouTube to MP3 converter and everything sounded a bit muffled.
Labour promised a big show with cheap tickets for all union members, but when it came time to perform, their headliner backed out at the last minute and never actually built the grand stage they’d promised. And even though they did put on a decent show, the gig felt much more mass-produced than the salt-of-the-Earth messaging they advertised.
National stuck to the ‘80s and ‘90s core tunes, the same set they’ve been playing for the last thirty years. There were some bangers in there, but they refused to play anything by a woman that isn’t Taylor Swift or Ruth Richardson because those are the only women they think can connect to the kids.
Next is Te Pāti Māori, and I can’t make fun of them because I’m a white American, but I feel like Rawiri Waititi’s Jordans tell me it would’ve been a genuinely good set.
Winston Peters didn’t really play a set, he just brought karaoke and thought no one would notice. But that’s okay, because everyone had a great time for old times’ sake, and it doesn’t matter if the durries stole your voice when you’re ten standards deep on Lion Brown.
TOP didn’t get invited to the party.