Kingfisher Strong, unlike the kōtare, is an allegedly exotic and foreign beer. Yes, it may be foreign, but this beverage tends to be about as exciting as that one wounder at a party showing you his Year 12 1st XV highlights on Hudl whilst unironically calling them his ‘glory days’.
The slogan of Kingfisher is “King of the Good Times” – and rightfully so, since this beer’s 7.2% ABV has just enough alcohol to get the nostalgia flowing through the veins of its main demographic, which can be imagined as middle-aged divorced scaffolders who are constantly posting on Facebook to remind you how loyal (but dangerous) they are. There really is something about Kingfisher Strong that makes you want to listen to Creed, reminisce and fix up a shitty Nissan Skyline that is never actually going to be driveable.
The saying that beer is just liquid bread couldn't be more true when it comes to Kingfisher Strong. The beer is grainy and the flavours aren’t going to blow anyone away. It's bitter and fairly easy to drink – refreshing if drunk cold, but kind of like well-hydrated horse piss if drunk warm, or like drinking the condensation from a bread bag after it’s been left out in the sun on a 40 degree day. And not Vogel’s or Freya’s. No, this is Pam’s value white bread in a beer.
When drinking this, one minute you're fine, the next you're pissed off your face singing ‘Piano Man’ thinking you're Billy Joel. This is probably because of something Chunny Bill Swilliams likes to coin ‘beer-math’ with the 7.2% ABV leaving you with a ratio of almost two beers per beer with each can coming in at 1.9 standards.
Compared to its counterparts in the ‘strong’ non-craft beer category, Kingfisher Strong is nothing like Bavaria 8.6 – although it wouldn't be described as a quality beer, it's something that can easily be put back and something that one would consider buying again. The drop is fairly good value for money, coming in at 6 packs of 330ml cans for $16.99 with the golden ratio sitting at a respectable $1.49 per standard. Kingfisher Strong also comes in 12 boxes of 550ml cans, which adds up to a whopping 3.1 standard drinks per can. Now that's something to be truly afraid of.
Pairs well with: Substituting naan with white bread
X Factor: A complete overindulgence in gluten
Chugability: 9/10. Goes down like Cleanskin at a BYO
Taste Rating: 7/10