Columns

Critic hasn’t renewed its subscription to the ODT yet, partly because we don’t want to contribute 95 cents per day to extensive coverage of the Strath Taieri Collie Club’s centennial trials in Middlemarch and obsessive campaigns against K2. So we stole a copy of Wednesday’s ODT from Radio One and found enough unintentional hilarity in that single day’s paper to sustain an entire column.

First up, Dave Cannan’s column provides consistent fodder for “ODT Watch,” and he doesn’t disappoint this week, dedicating hundreds of words to the cataclysmic horror of the latest market day having a sticky floor.



Meanwhile, NIMBYism apparently isn’t confined to the upper classes:



It would be a tragedy if the idyllic sounds of pigs wallowing on the farm were drowned out by the hiss of an espresso machine.



Why would anyone turn down the opportunity to be infested with Trichobilharzia longicauda parasites in exchange for zero money?



Probs.