Columns

Hi Everybody!

So last week we talked about GPs and the importance of finding a good one. If you haven’t gone out and done that yet, consider this column plussage, because we’re gonna follow on from there today.

Underpinning what makes a docotor “good” is their relationship with you. As a patient I’ve come across some pretty rubbish doctors and the reason I didn’t like them is usually that we were like a well-researched article and the words “Otago Daily Times” – we just never got on the same page.

Probably the biggest step to getting on the same page is trusting each other. You trust that your doctor is going to help you and that they know something about medicine and stuff. Your doctor trusts you to be honest with them and to try to commit to the treatment plan you agree upon.

In general, we’re fairly rubbish when it comes to that “sticking to a treatment plan” part. If the ACME pill factory ever exploded, we could probably go door-to-door collecting enough unused antibiotics to tide us over till a new one was built.

Unfortunately, we are fairly good at being able to fudge the truth to avoid that whole “being honest” part too.

“No I haven’t taken any illegal drugs,” “Yes I exercise daily,” “I was vacuuming naked when I tripped and fell ...”

I know those examples won’t ring true with everybody, but like a leper’s post-coital penis I hope the point is still there.

We’re always going to want to stretch the truth when talking to a stranger with a stethoscope – but keep in mind the doctor’s not there to judge, they’re not legally allowed to gossip about it later and, frankly, they probably don’t really find it that embarrassing.

Hell, I’ve spent less time out of diapers than most docs have been practicing but if you walked into my room and drop trou I doubt I’d bat an eyelid. So the doctor with twenty years’ experience definitely won’t find it risqué talking about funny smells from funny places.

So whether you’ve got bloody poo, you had unprotected sex with somebody whose name you don’t know or you’re feeling emotionally shattered and notice sounds that others don’t, please don’t let the risk of embarrassment prevent you from getting the help you need.

At the end of the day, trying to protect your dignity will just delay treatment and make things physically and emotionally worse. I’m not saying go give your doctor a list of all your fetishes, I’m just saying if you’ve got a burning pee-hole, its better to just tell them where it’s been.