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If you’ve been to any of the cafés about town lately, I’m sure you will have observed the following puzzling phenomenon: the letters “GF” on various cakes and menu items. No, that doesn’t stand for “available on girl-friend bread”; those little letters mean “gluten-free.” “Of course!” you say. “Gluten-free, the diet of the hippie band-wagon jumper!” Or you might be saying, “Nooo, wheat is the devil’s grain! Gluten-free is gospel!” How can we separate these two compelling arguments? Science, that’s how.

A quick Google of “reasons to go Gluten Free” clearly indicates that there is a whole lot this hippie bullshit (sorry, I mean “misinformation”) floating about. Advocates of the GF diet say it helps to improve gut problems like bloating and gas. “Health” websites proudly tout studies “linking” gluten to all sorts of horrid-sounding conditions; gluten has been linked to infertility, eczema, back problems and schizophrenia. Or this wee gem of a conspiracy theory: “Because my blood type evolved earlier than wheat itself, gluten will poison my brain.”

There are actually good reasons, soundly supported by science, for some people to follow a GF diet. But it’s important to separate these legit medical reasons from the childish pseudoscience (read: verbal diarrhea) that can muddy the waters of dietary choice.

So what are the scientifically sound reasons for removing gluten from one’s diet? Firstly, there’s Coeliac Disease. This horrid condition is caused by the gluten protein inducing the immune system to attack the intestinal lining, which leads to an inability to absorb nutrients, as well as pain, diarrhea, and increased risk of intestinal cancer. For Coeliac Disease patients, a gluten-free diet is the only treatment. This is serious shit.

Secondly, there’s Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). IBS has similar symptoms to coeliac disease: bloating, diarrhea, pain, and gas are common. It’s not caused by an immune response – science hasn’t agreed on what causes IBS. But science has invented a clever treatment! There are some sugars that the human gut can’t digest, that our gut bacteria love to nom instead. This causes gas (e.g. think baked beans farts). If IBS patients don’t eat these sugars, they reduce their symptoms. It just so happens that wheat contains some of these sugars.

Many people who “self-prescribe” a GF diet following the advice of “natural health experts” probably do see some benefit: they have less gas because the gas-causing stomach bacteria get less food. Gluten isn’t poison, it’s just that wheat is a gassy food!

So, if you find yourself flatulent after feeding, you might benefit from going gluten-free. But for gut’s sake, go and ask your doctor before you try it – they’ll know about the science, bitches.