Pornography is a controversial subject, but it is now perhaps the most widely accepted and pop-culture-okayed controversial subject (although the discussion seems to be different for anyone who is not a boy). Nearly every boy I know is unapologetic about indulging in porn. Porn is so frequently consumed that there’s no second guessing why certain boys start a morning lecture with their laptop’s brightness right down, screens tilted forward, hurriedly smashing the volume button just in case (no, you’re not being subtle).
Some people argue, however, that pornography is damaging the way we have sex — that teenagers are more likely to be pressured into doing sex acts they don’t particularly want to with their partners because said partners have seen it done in porn and want to imitate it. On the other hand, things that once upon a time would have been considered “kinky” are becoming more by the by; enjoying a fist clutching your throat seems to be a normal part of a one-night stand now.
Porn could be adding to the list of what makes us self-conscious. There are things we never thought to be aware of until we watched porn: unrealistically large penises, perfectly even, small labia, smooth mons pubises with no hair or razor burn or ingrown hairs. Labiaplasty is cosmetic surgery that removes some of the labia of the vulva in order to make the vulva look more like that of a porn star’s. There are never awkward moments in porn, no weird noises or fumbling while you try to get the condom on or try to find the right direction to point the damn thing. Everything is exaggerated and over the top — like moaning and screaming at things that in no conceivable way could ever feel good. (Please, stop putting stiletto heels in vaginas. I’m serious. Why are you doing that? Does this porn director genuinely think that is a thing women who have sex with women do? Trust me, we’re not that desperate for a phallic stand-in that we use our shoes.)
I know we all like the unrealistic fantasy and something we don’t have to think too hard about, but imagine how great sex could be if everyone who watched porn was being taught good information about sex, sexuality and safe sex — things that feel good, not just look aesthetically pleasing on camera, things that encourage healthy sex habits and open communication.