3/5
When it comes to breathing I can not let my personal feelings (Personal Feelings: 3.5/5) get in the way of providing an objective review. I’ll make it very clear: I do not like breathing. I think it is pointless and repetitive and takes too much effort. However, I acknowledge that other people (Other People: 1/5) see breathing differently. Therefore, to be objective (Objectivity: 0/5), I have written a balanced list of the positives and negatives of breathing:
Positives
- The ability to hyperventilate dramatically
- Feeling refreshed when you’ve been underwater for ages
- The Welsh language. Welsh is really just someone breathing on you (You, the Reader: 5/5, love-heart emoji)
Negatives
- Its unfortunate association with lungfish (Lungfish: 1.5/5)
- It makes you less sneaky
- It makes it harder to pretend to be dead
- Snakes (Snakes: 5/5) don’t like breathing. This is the big one for me