Raisins are dehydrated mouse brains
Mouse brains are dehydrated mouse brains
Human brains are hydrated pineapples
Steve Buscemi is the slowly decaying corpse of Adam Sandler’s original body
Green pens are better for the environment
Octopus ink is octopus stink
Jesus is the exclusive intellectual property of Starbucks. That’s why he’s on their cups.
Critic was named after the insect
Microphones have to listen to you even if you’re boring
I can’t be racist, some of my best friends are dolphins
Most of the time a bird’s total wingspan is actually shorter than the length of both their wings stacked on top of each other
Stephen Hawking was the first person to put wheels on a chair
1 is not the loneliest number. 18 is the loneliest, because all your friends moved away and went to different Unis.
In Holland, if you step on your step-brother they are legally required to say “step”. Step sisters don’t have to do anything, but they can say “step” if they want
In Holland, personal jinx is enforced by law
In Holland, they hate it when you call it Holland