“So I’m certainly not a reptile. I’ve never been in a spaceship, never been in outer space, and my tongue’s not overly long either.”
In 2014 a fellow human-being submitted an Official Information Act request for proof John Key wasn’t a reptilian enslaving us, and he denied it. Which is exactly something a shape shifting alien would say. In fact his “people” (reptile minions) took the entire thirty working days allowed before they responded. It was rejected on the grounds that there was no information concerning whether or not John is a Illuminati-Reptilian-Alien intent on enslaving New Zealand and bending us to his will.
‘Brother John’, as his Reptile brotherhood probably refers to him, insisted he had been cleared by a doctor and a vet as not being a shapeshifting reptile-hybrid. Some of the more ‘woke’ among us questioned whether he said this with a forked tongue.
But really. What are the chances that aliens even exist?
When I was a wee ankle biter, as I stared out my window up at the stars, I hoped for some intelligent extraterrestrial being to swing by to say ‘hi’. None did. My imaginative child’s mind found the idea that space isn’t simply space entertaining. Space Jam had dispelled any notion of humankind sitting alone in the universe. Could there be aliens out there, could they be friendly, or are they already here—are there giant lizards running the world disguised as humans? This is a serious question for many people, and one I will elaborate on later.
While sitting on the edge of this impossibly vast, incomprehensible grandeur one might feel compelled to exclaim (to the universe in general), “where is everybody?” If you have a look at some astrophotography you’ll realise two things; first of all how sick does astrophotography look, and second of all there are in fact quite a few stars hanging out in the Milky Way Galaxy. Personally I don’t believe that aliens (extraterrestrial) are landing on our doorstep anytime soon, that they have already, or that they even exist. What I do know for certain is that I am definitely not an alien and I am unequivocally not writing this in order to dispel any suspicions that I am one. I’m not.
Right now a child somewhere is staring at the night sky pondering like I once was. In the discussion of whether or not there is intelligent life hanging out far across the galaxy, one name in particular pops up. The name’s Fermi, Enrico Fermi, and he has his own paradox. It follows a pretty linear train of thought: The galaxy has lots of stars, like our sun, and a lot of planets some of which are kind of like Earth, most of them are also a lot older than our own Sun and Earth. Some of them could very well foster intelligent life, given the time and means by which to cruise across the galaxy. By Fermi’s calculations, the aliens should be here already. Alas, it seems no one has bothered to pop into our solar system for a chat.
Here is the paradox: count to a million and do that a million times. You’ve counted to one billion. Do that again 200 more times and then double your final answer for good measure. 200-400 billion: the number of stars that live in our galaxy. Our galaxy is 13.21 billion years old. Now let’s pan out for some perspective; our Earth is 4.5 billion years old, humans are a teeny 200,000 years old and civilisation reaches back circa 6,000 years or so. Thus we construct a case for the existence of life beyond the final frontier that would have had considerably longer than humans to mature and develop a means to traverse the stars, why then have they not bothered to visit? Is it due to a critical point at which intelligent civilisations simply die out or fail as many human civilisations have done before? Or is it possible that everyone else has come and gone? Because humans, let alone recorded history, is so new we’ve missed the party entirely, everyone else has died out.
If some aliens had amassed great civilisations, built their pyramids that doubled as galactic shuttles, gone places and presumably done things, these civilisations could have gone the same way as Rome. Either by way of war, turmoil from the inside out, or disagreement in politics and ideologies that heralded a downfall, human civilisations, intelligent civilisations, have in the past generally followed a progression of becoming great then at a critical point failing. Today’s world is globalised, but conflict in ideologies, famine, war, economy and natural disaster still pits nation states against one another. Star Wars is an apt demonstration in how a galactic empire could crumble from the inside out. So perhaps these aliens have fallen into disarray, civilisations risen and fallen. Or maybe they just haven’t been around for a very, very long time.
The Earth is relatively young compared to other things in the universe. Our planet formed nine billion years after the Big Bang, many planets formed before ours, and have had a massive time advantage when it comes to starting life. And with countless stars that are far older with numerous elderly planets in tow, theorists have queried the possibility that if our Sun and Earth are so new, could similar solar systems have harboured life long before our planet even existed? Tie this thought to humankind’s development over time: human civilisation has developed exponentially since fire making was discovered, the wheel, agriculture, recorded history, government, economies, machines, industry, and now the digital age and computers, knowledge and information is blooming at an ever increasing rate.
As a person from a thousand years ago would be unable to comprehend the modern day if they were to step into it, are we so sure we could ourselves, a thousand years in the future? Intelligent life maturing thousands, or many millions, let alone billions of years before humanity should have developed technologies of vast complexity and power. Magnificent displays of art and culture. One of the answers that has been put forward to counter this conundrum, aside from some kind of Galactic Empire imposing a gag order on the rest of the Milky Way communicating with us, is that everyone is long dead and gone. Everyone else has gone extinct.
In 2011 China began work on the largest radio telescope ever created. It is being constructed in the Guizhou province and is planned to be finished later this year. The project, named ‘Fast’ for ‘Five-hundred-metre Aperture Spherical Radio Telescope’, aims to find evidence of alien life throughout our galaxy and beyond. The project has also displaced 9,000 local villages because the scientists would like some peace and quiet in their gratuitous electromagnetic wave environment. Classic Communist party.
It’s not just devout Atheist-Marxists on the quest, the rest of the world is also playing its part. Collectively known as SETI; the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence is broader than you may imagine. Electromagnetic radiation from space has been monitored since the early 1900’s with the advent of radio. NASA’s Kepler space telescope has found over a thousand earth sized exoplanets—planets which orbit around a star other than our Sun, sitting in or around their host star in a zone ideal for nurturing life—and over three thousand further candidates. Because it observes only a tiny portion of our galaxy it’s estimated over 40 billion of these Earthly exoplanets float in our galaxy orbiting stars within the habitable zone, 11 billion of which orbit stars similar to our own. NASA’s Discovery Programme is poorly funded but still the quest for evidence of extraterrestrial life around the world goes on. But what if everyone looking up is simply looking in the wrong direction, maybe we should be looking beside us, out the corner of our eyes.
Ok. So. They live among us. Cue X-Files theme music. Everybody loves a good theory, and we all love a good conspiracy. It’s not about whether or not it’s rational, instead it’s whether it’s plausible—If we look at it from a very particular angle. Does it cater to the imaginative? The emotional? People love it. David Icke has demonstrated just how deep this lust runs. Icke has convinced thousands of people that the world is run by lizards disguised as humans. Reptile people. Obama’s a lizard, the Queen’s a lizard, and if Helen becomes the secretary general of the UN it’s probably because she’s a lizard. Icke, an ex-footballer, journalist and self-proclaimed second coming of Christ, once predicted the world would end in 1997. Nineteen years later he has become a bestselling author and the single biggest threat to our Illuminati-Reptilian-overlords. In Dave’s words:
“In simple terms there is a predator race which take a reptilian form, they’re feeding off humanity. They’ve turned humanity into a slave race. They demand human sacrifice, that’s where Satanism comes in. They feed off human energy, particularly feed off the energy of children...”
He’s the man whose followers prowl the internet telling the sheeple to open their eyes, and he’s cracked it. Our entire reality is a lie, instead we are perceiving a façade broadcast into our brains from the moon. Yes, the moon. The Illuminati’s own death star/state of the art radio studio. The lizards arrived at the dawn of humanity from the Draconis constellation. For this to make sense, don’t think too hard about the hundreds of light years between the stars in Draconis. The lizards are clearly from Draconis because “Draconis” sounds kind of like dragon, Draconian, and Dracula. Once on Earth the reptilians started having sex with humans as their vibrational incompatibility with our dimension does not allow them to exist here for long. So they need Reptilian hybrid spawn in positions of power on Earth. These include members of the ‘Illuminati’ and various occult societies, as well as members of the Rockefeller and Rothschild family trees, the Queen, and of course Obama, the puppet president of the US They want to dominate us because they are evil, and need to feed off our energy. The fall of humankind outlined in Genesis is supposedly ample proof of the beginning of our enslavement, the Serpent didn’t want to just tempt Eve into eating the fruit, it’s a metaphor for the reptilian’s seduction of women, who would go on to bear Illuminati lizard hybrids, bloodlines to be controlled and rule the world through.
Icke has successfully published over twenty books outlining the Reptilian threat, every plan and goal, family trees and the names of heads of ‘secret societies’. In a 2013 census by a U.S polling firm it was found that four percent of registered voters in the U.S believe that world leaders are Reptilians dictating the course of humanity, bending our every choice to their will. A cold-blooded agenda. The other impressive thing about David Icke’s elaborate conspiracy is that it seems to involve every other popular conspiracy ever conceived. 9/11? You guessed it - Bush, because he’s a reptilian. US invasions? It’s the Reptiles. The UN? Reptiles. OUSA? Probably Reptiles. Icke has spent twenty years researching, writing and picking up followers who are more than happy to contribute to the Reptile resistance. Open your eyes. They walk among us. Dude. Also we need to stop sending kids to school, it’s just another form of state control eroding the influence of parents and programming kids’ minds with what ‘they’ want them to believe. Totally, maybe the reason we have not yet encountered alien life is because they encountered us first and enslaved us.
Enrico Fermi’s paradox is valid, some of the explanations people have attributed to it less-so. Maybe in the next decade China’s gigantic metal ear will hear something interesting, maybe it won’t. In size our galaxy is unfathomable, and the Universe infinitely more-so. The poorly funded search for habitable planets, extraterrestrial organisms, and non-human intelligence will continue to ask “where is everybody?”, but as humans stare further into space one explanation remains: maybe nobody wants to talk us. It may also be time to consider whether you are a victim of intergalactic occupation at the hand of your pet lizard.