The Blackboard dating craze predicted by Critic has partially eventuated, with BSNS102 student Sam Poulter being the latest in a short line of University of Otago Commerce students to misuse the online learning tool.
Just after 1pm on Tuesday May 3, Poulter sent a Blackboard email to the entire BSNS102 class entitled “Hi all”. The message stated that Poulter had noticed that he was “so much better looking than every one else around me” in the paper and followed this revelation with handy tips for improving the sartorial elegance of the average business statistics student.
The message also singled out by name some female members of the class that Poulter considered not bad looking, though made no substantive effort to follow up on this lofty praise by inviting communications from the chosen ladies.
Indeed, it is likely that some, or all, of the females listed have been dissuaded from pursuing Poulter after the rest of his email divulged that he was most likely a diet-obsessed, steroid-using fan of hit TV show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Some sources within the class speculated that Poulter’s rambling, poorly spelt, and atrociously punctuated email may have been a “hijack” of his Blackboard account effected while Poulter was engaged in a ferocious battle of wills with a particularly stubborn poo.
Others, however, suggested that Poulter was merely trying to copy the highly successful dating email sent by celebrity Commerce student Sam Love (covered on page 12 of Critic issue 6). However, Poulter’s attempt has been slammed by some commentators as a hollow shell of the charming love-missive sent by Love.
A prominent Dunedin dating consultant, found procrastinating in the Link, told Critic that the only commonality between the two emails was the method of distribution. “This guy Poulter has clearly fucked up if he was trying to copy Love. Love’s email was amusing and whimsical, and everyone could appreciate that he was simply reaching out to that Sarah girl because of the depth of his feelings for her. Poulter by contrast sounds like a degenerate”.
Due to printing deadlines and a strong desire not to have to retract the rampant speculation contained in this article, Critic could not reach Poulter for comment, though sources removed from the individual concerned stated that he would have been unlikely to respond anyway, as MTV was showing a Queer Eye marathon over the weekend.
Critic’s coverage of teaching resource misuse continues. We are not encouraging it though. Well actually we kind of are.
