The Hyde hustle has been strong this year, with some twisting the “trauma” of repeated Critic crossword errors (soz) into a bid for tickets. A flat of four sent an email last Monday after spotting the latest typo to Critic Editor Nina and OUSA President Keegan, claiming it had “severely impacted our flat morale.”
Critic Te Ārohi’s Drugs Issue crossword marked the third mistake for the magazine this year (the same number of incensed crossword letters we received this week). In their letter, the flat of four outlined dealing with a series of “extreme events” and suggested that Critic “has been our emotional support […] but has turned into a cause of stress.” They went on to suggest that “a simple solution would be providing us with 4 ticket codes.”
They claimed that their flat’s dedication to the crossword was “religious,” particularly following a series of extremely unfortunate incidents, including a bathroom flooding, a car breakdown, and a case of herpes. Continuing the tale of woe, they said, “On top of all these unfortunate events we don’t have Hyde tickets??” Concluding, they urged recipients of the letter to “resonate with [their] story,” signing off with the pseudonym ‘four girls who need something positive to get through these trials’.
OUSA President Keegan Wells responded: “I sadly do not have it in my power to obtain Hyde Street tickets, I feel for you for you and your flatties.” Critic Editor Nina Brown also rejected the plea, saying in her response, “The most I can give you as consolation is the answer to No. 6 Down which is ‘nemesis.’"
A cold response from the compassionless leaders of OUSA, it would seem. But although Keegan and Nina rejected the plea, each offered their condolences. Keegan said, “It’s really through tough times that legends emerge.” Nina sent her deepest “apologies and sympathies.”
Others have also jumped on the magazine’s weakness, with one disgruntled patron demanding that they be compensated with “$10 as a gesture of good will. A box/tin would also be appreciated” with an email containing a bank account number. Several other students have demanded justice from the magazine, rattling their fists against the injustice.
One student, Anna, told Critic, “The crosswords should be correct.” Another student, Lucy, said, “It would make me feel a lot smarter if they were actually correct all the time,” though she did admit that she doesn’t normally get far enough to spot the errors. Both Lucy and Anna suggested that both Critic Te Ārohi and OUSA had wronged the students, arguing that they could surely sus some tickets for the students' hustle.
Scandalously, Nina admits that Critic Te Ārohi’s crossword error was spotted before the magazine was published! It was spotted by Sub-Editor Ellie while editing the print-out (the physical copy we go through with red pens) but “we just forgot to change it in the doc before we sent it to the printers,” said Nina. Oh snap, Critic.
In a last ditch attempt to make up for Critic’s shortcomings, Keegan told the disgruntled group of “girlies” that she would give them a headstart in last week’s Exec Hyde giveaway where Keegan hid somewhere on campus. The four were given a five minute first clue advantage – one which they unfortunately did not take as Keegan was found almost instantaneously by another student. Better luck next time.