St David Lecture Theatre has been suffering under the tirade of an Instagram account dedicated purely to chatting shit about the building. Boasting a current total of 19 followers and 9 posts, @stdavidsbuildinghate is true to their handle. The page’s bio states that they “HATE st davids” and that it’s “literally the worst building [in] New Zealand.”
In its attempts to take-down the building behemoth, the page posted multiple images of the lecture theatre alongside derogatory comments such as “dreadful”, saying that whoever designed the building is “sick in the head.” The page discusses that they hate the exterior of the complex as much as the inside, with photos depicting “the drab interior of an already miserable building.” Brutally, the owner mused, “were they not allowed to put joy into this building?” Another post depicts a red cross over St Daves “mark[ing] the spot” before they suggested that the true treasure would be removing the St David complex entirely. Sick burn.
The mysterious hater told Critic Te Ārohi that, “It began the moment I was born [...] St David himself was the doctor aiding in my delivery [...] I had fulfilled his prophecy by enrolling into this university.” In a three paragraph DM resembling a message from your ex wanting to meet for coffee, they detailed how they had thought nothing of the building at first before being confronted by the interior which was “the most terrifying thing I had ever seen.”
What was terrifying was the next part of the sordid tale, with claims (which Critic assumes were hallucinogen-induced) that the personified St David emerged from the “red” carpet and began repeatedly stabbing them before he managed to evade the figure and sneak into their lecture “getting blood everywhere.” Summarising their spiel, the figure simply said, “I made the Instagram page because St Davids is a pretty shit building.”
To understand the true impact of the Instagram page, Critic Te Ārohi approached staff working at the St David Cafe who (surprisingly) had not heard of the page. Caitlin, a barista at the cafe, told Critic that the page was “so random and weird.” She also mused that it was “a strange thing to put your energy into,” with co-workers Emma and Kirsten agreeing. Defending the building, Emma said, “I like coming to work here, it’s nice and warm. Plus, we have big windows.” However, Kirsten did express that she thought a colourful mural on one of the walls wouldn’t do the complex any harm. Summarising her position, Emma stated, “I’m just glad they’re not hating on lecturers or the cafe. If they’re having fun, do what you gotta do.”
Despite comments from staff that St Daves was undeserving of hate, students came out in support of the page’s admin, with one student Shaked telling Critic that “they have the worst lecture theatres.” Another student, Beth, commented that there are “quite a lot of leaves on the ground”. St Dave’s sole defender, Zhiheng, said, “I like the cafe, not many lecture theatres have one of those.” Zhiheng is studying the right kind of way, king.
If you’re reading this @stdavidsbuildinghate, reveal yourself. You can’t hide forever.