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Whatever happened to the Highlanders? They were a force to be reckoned with at the start of last year and then disapeared into a green oblivion. Well, this year, they are your new favourite rugby team. They have new, better players (cheers Mark Hammet), including an experienced campaigner to do the grunt work in Andrew Hore, and finally some speed and excitement on the outside in Hosea Gear and Buxton Popoali’i. Colin Slade, Adam Thomson, Jamie Mackintosh, Jimmy Cowan, Ben Smith and Jared Hoeata are all international quality players, with loads of experience between them. This squad is looking unusually strong.

They also have a big shiny lunchbox to play in right down the street from your flat (no excuse not to wander down), and a returning coach (Jamie Joseph) ready to lead this young and excited team into a renaissance year. Better yet, Joseph was a player the last time the Highlanders were decent. But wait, the biggest difference for Highlanders SuperXV 2012 is that you, yes you, will be going the games. This year the students are coming back to the Highlanders. Ticket prices have been slashed (as little as 15 bucks for the “Zoo” section). You can walk to the game. You won’t get wet, and best of all the Highlanders are going to win some games (maybe not the first one against the Crusaders but some, I promise). Be there.

Inspired by all this brutally arousing anticipation, Critic’s newly-minted sports reporter went for a star-struck sit down (well I stood up for half of it) with two of the highest profile ring-ins for the resurgent franchise. Ex-Hurricanes, and World Cup winning All Blacks, Andrew Hore and Hosea Gear tolerated Critic long enough for a quick chat.

What was behind your transfers to the Highlanders?
Hosea: Jamie [Joseph] was a big draw-card for me, and the stadium. I just needed a bit of a change, something fresh and new. Things were looking pretty exciting down here.
Andrew: I’m good mates with Whopper [Jamie Mackintosh] and Jimmy [Cowan]. Home’s just up the road, also the pitch is pretty flash and there’s a buzz around the city. Hosea’s huge obviously, he’s world class.

Where is your favourite spot in the world for a little drink?
Hosea: Wellington after the Sevens, [Gordon] Tietjens banned drinking there though, because Las Vegas 7s is the next week.
Andrew: Capetown’s best for a beer, also Dublin.

Best place for a meal in Dunedin?
Hosea: Jizo, that Japanese place.
Andrew: The Mornington Tavern.

Who has the hottest girlfriend in the team?
Hosea: I do.
Andrew: Bronson Murray.

First car you wrote off?
Hosea: People from Gisborne are good drivers. I have never written off a car.
Andrew: Totaled a Telstar in my youth.

Will there be any events held at the “Hore house” this season?
Hosea: Nah shit no, I’ll be avoiding the Hore house I think. I try to stay away from that guy he’s rough as guts.
Andrew: Anyone who wants to come up to the Hore house is gold mate. We’ll get the slippery slide going, we’ll be racing.

Would you be willing to try Scrulse (Scrumpy and Pulse mixed together)?
Hosea: Nah don’t think so mate.
Andrew: Sure, I’ll take it on.

Who would win a dance off between Andrew Hore and Jason Rutledge?
Hosea: Jason Rutledge is an excellent dancer. He’d probably win.
Andrew: It’d be a draw because neither of us would get off our seats.

How do you feel about the possible introduction of female refs?
Hosea: Yeah that would be OK. Would be a bit odd though, wouldn’t want anyone taking the piss.
Andrew: I have to be careful what I say here, we’ll keep rugby to the lads please.

Which member of the Highlanders would best suit the DJ Forbes style, bald-head, full bed combo?
Hosea: Definitely Andrew Hore.
Andrew: No way. Wouldn’t mind the beard though, but the hairs a bit thin on top.

Hosea, you’ve been a part of the NZ 7s team recently – Andrew, if Gordon Tietjens called you up would you be keen?
Andrew: No way. I’ve seen them train man, no good, too old.