News

This week we introduce a section in which guest writers give you a rundown of what’s happening in the social sports scene. Here’s John Burton with his take on social basketball.

The Unipol Social Basketball League is a breeding ground for up-and-coming basketball players from the University and Polytech. It is a hotbed of skill, finesse and athleticism, and only the best teams can enter [actually anyone can enter]. Teams need at least two girls on the court, and to make sure they can showcase their own skills, there is strictly no blocking. One team in particular is proving its worth, The Dunedin Bobcats. This alluring outfit have shown ample athleticism, a high level of sportsmanship and a stupendous amount of razzle, but unfortunately no dazzle.

Their coach has high hopes for his team in their inaugural season. “Yeah, the team is really starting to gel, and we have been picking up some great free agents. I expect nothing but wins from here on out.” Critic asked Bobcats player and league founder Nick “Black Mamba” Walker what inspired him to start the USBL. “I just knew there was some real hidden talent out there, and this is a way for them to come out of their shell, work off the booze, and prove that they have what it takes.”

Last week the Bobcats were pretty impressive. They were required to play two games, a tough schedule. The first game was against Moe’s Clams, who were wearing NBA singlets, and everyone knows that means they must be good. However, Bobcats stars Tom “Lebron” McKnight and Nick “The Col-Train” Grant were simply too effective. Between them they scored 29 of the team’s 52 points and took 15 rebounds. Post-game Nick had this to say: “Yeah, nah, definitely.” Their second game? Well, let’s just say fatigue was a factor and leave it at that. The Bobcats have some promising players such as Peter “Whight Howard” Brownless, Jack “White-Mamba-Scalabrine” Ensor and Nick “Dirka-Dirka” Scullion.

Do you think you can beat the Dunedin Bobcats? If so sign up for the USBL at Unipol any time. If you want to earn a little cash, the USBL is always looking for refs as well. Games are 20 minutes each half, and are played on Wednesday nights at the Teachers’ College Gymnasium from 6.15pm.