Selwyn College’s residents flogged one of their favourite dead horses last Wednesday afternoon when they took over the Clocktower lawn for the annual Lindski Battle. A dozen ex-residents were pitted against more than 100 Selwyn “knights” and “nurses” in the annual pacifist skirmish.
The battle, named after its original faux-imperial Russian combatants, began with a customary exchange of flour and water bombs between its cardboard-armoured belligerents across the Leith. The Selwyn-knights then crossed a footbridge to attack the motley crew of “exies”.
Lab coat-clad nurses like Molly Reynolds dispensed a life-preserving concoction to those struck down by a variety of swords, spears and flails. “We can feed them whatever we want,” chuckled Reynolds, clutching a drink bottle filled with an unspecified red mixture.
Despite their numerical inferiority, the ex-residents put up a spirited fight, but a final showdown on the museum lawn left them defeated until next year.
Morale-boosting chants followed from the Anglican residence, including such gems as “Walking through the park and what do I see / Fourty fuckin’ Knoxie bitches staring at me / I fucked thirty-eight then my balls turned blue / So I whacked it off and jacked it off and screwed the other two / When I die I’m goin’ to hell / And I’ll fuck the devil’s daughter and his wife as well.”
Charming.
Cardboard swords slay selwyn’s hordes
