You woke up this morning ignorant and innocent. The sunshine sunk into your skin like a spoon into a puddle of thick custard, and the world oozed contentment.
BUT NOW IT WILL ALL CHANGE.
A letter was sent to the OUSA Exec on the 12th of March by brave whistleblower Fiona A. Bowker informing the exec of THE HORROR THAT LIES BEHIND THE CURTAIN OF NORMALITY. “It was recently drawn to my attention that the Evison lounge is misspelt on the ground floor sign next to the lift in the OUSA Clubs and Societies Centre, and the misspelling has been allowed to remain so for some time.”
BUT THE LIES RUN DEEPER. Apparently the lounge is not named after everyone’s favourite electronic student portal, as so many unsuspecting souls have assumed. Instead it is named after Harry Evison, a notable historian. This conspiracy runs right to the top. “I always thought it was the eVision lounge,” said Kirio Birks, OUSA Postgraduate Officer, IMPLICATING HIM IN THE HYPOCRISY.
As courageous citizen Bowker states from atop her holy platform of moral authority, “it is not a simple misspelling, it is a matter of disrespect for Harry Evison”. TOO FUCKING TRUE, FIONA.
Fearless and dynamic member of the public Bowker laid out two sizzling requests. The first is that the misspelling is corrected “as a matter of urgency”. The second goes even further to ask that the Evison lounge be RENAMED the “Harry Evison” lounge, and that “a decent sized placard/poster containing a photo and bio be placed in a prominent part of the room or building”. With two simple, elegant sentences, she cuts through the claggy blanket of institutional deceit with fiery-white TRUTH AND RIGHTEOUSNESS.
OUSA CEO Debbie Downs said on fixing the sign, “It’s a no brainer, we should have done it already”. The exec also passed a motion to rename the lounge the “Harry Evison lounge” to help prevent confusion, and are considering putting up some kind of biographical plaque to inform the masses about this great man.
THE SYSTEM IS A LIE.
TRUST NO ONE.