Wild Moose is Liquid Happiness

Posted 1:37pm Sunday 20th August 2017

The name “Wild Moose” really does describe this bevvy perfectly. It’s soft and brown but incredibly wild. Try and tame this majestic beast and you may struggle, but if you succeed, you will be treated with the night of your life. Wild Mouse is an inspiring message of hope to all Read more...

Smirnoff Ice Double Black Is the Perfect Drink for a Kids Birthday Party

Posted 12:56pm Sunday 13th August 2017

Smirnoff Ice Double Black is a drink for children, and adults who are still children at heart. It may technically be alcoholic, but as far as your taste buds would know, it’s just a kind of weird lemonade. ‘Scientists’ will tell you that the amount of guarana in these bad boys Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Goon for $9.90

Posted 1:55pm Sunday 6th August 2017

Praise be the God of Alcoholics, we have been granted a gift from above. Meenan’s Wine & Spirits on Great King Street has come out with the deal of the year – nay, the deal of the decade. A succulent goon of red wine, containing 21 delectable standard drinks, for $9.90. That is not a Read more...

Purple Goanna Is Genuine Poison

Posted 2:10pm Sunday 30th July 2017

Purple Goanna spits in the face of all that is holy. An artificial potion of methylated spirits and dirty chemicals, this RTD has inflicted a pain on the youth of New Zealand that even Suzie Cato could not fix. The flavours are indecipherable. With the deep purple hue of the liquid, one would Read more...

Speight's Counts As One Of Your 5+ A Day

Posted 2:22pm Sunday 23rd July 2017

It’s hard to review Speight’s. It has so much meaning to so many people. It was the first beer my father ever gave me. It’s the beer that has fuelled Scarfies for generations. Would I say it’s the tastiest beer in the world? No. But it’s the beer that makes me think of Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | El Diablo Super Strong Brew

Posted 2:44pm Sunday 16th July 2017

In all my years of exploring and analysing the finest alcoholic beverages New Zealand has to offer on the student budget, the one question I’ve gotten more than any other is: “What’s the grossest beer you’ve ever tasted?” I’ve drunk a red onion ale from Read more...

Southern Gold Is the True Pride of the South

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 9th July 2017

Choo, Choo! It’s time to hop back on the steam train! After being gone from my beloved North Dunedin for two excruciating weeks, the only way to welcome my liver back to Dunners is with an entire tray of Southern Gold. It’s good old-fashioned fun that doesn’t require any of the Read more...

Wild Buck is The Most Scullable Beer in The Country

Posted 1:40pm Sunday 28th May 2017

Wild Buck is beer from the good old days, when men were men, a spade was a spade, and it was possible to buy property in Auckland. There’s a genuine argument to be made that Wild Buck was specifically designed to be the most scullable beer in the country.  Understanding the brewing Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Issue 12

Posted 2:11pm Sunday 21st May 2017

According to the nice lady at Leith Liquor, we’re getting into the colder months and whisky can make a great winter warmer. So I took her advice and bought the cheapest bottle in the store. Burn Mackenzie is a great winter warmer in the same way that a house fire is a great way to heat your Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Issue 11

Posted 1:43pm Sunday 14th May 2017

Leith Liquor clearly made some sort of fuckup with their suppliers, because for the past couple of weeks they’ve had a pile of this stuff big enough to kill a whole floor of unicol freshers staring you down as soon as you walk in the door, and they’ve been desperately trying to get rid Read more...