Dear Aunt Kell and Mumma Zo, How Do You Make Bad Food Good Food?

Posted 5:37pm Thursday 27th September 2018

Tihei mauri ora, Bad food is food that you’ve left in the fridge after you cooked up an extravagant meal three months ago using useless ingredients like crème fraîche that you’ve only used a tablespoon of, which you haven’t touched since.  Bad food is food Read more...

Dear Mumma Zo and Aunt Kell, How Do I Stop Procrastinating?

Posted 6:31pm Thursday 20th September 2018

Procrastination is spending time doing what you’d rather be doing. To make your procrastination more efficient, ensure you properly plan your procrastination (this is called procrasti-planning).  Procrastination is inevitable so why not make it healthy? E.g. Procrasta-run, or if you Read more...

Dear Aunt Kell and Mama Zo, are drugs kosher, and what does kosher even mean?

Posted 4:00pm Thursday 13th September 2018

Well, we are so glad you asked. Kosher is a Hebrew word and it means “fit” for eating. Are drugs fit for eating? Maybe, if you really wanted to you could chew some ibuprofen but it probably tastes super yuck. Ultimately, kosher drugs is a question of drug administration, and pharmacists Read more...

Dear Aunt Kell and Mumma Zo, How Do I Get a Summer Job?

Posted 8:02pm Thursday 30th August 2018

There are two options: 1. Don’t  1.a. Don’t and go on the DOLE 2. Do Everyone wants a summer job so you have to apply for all of them. Before you apply for summer jobs you gotta figure out if you want to work the holiday days (Xmas and New Years) or if you want to Read more...

Dear Aunt Kell and Mama Zo, How Do You Uncover the Truth of Conspiracies?

Posted 4:30pm Thursday 9th August 2018

Well let’s start with the facts. Chemtrails are not a conspiracy, man never made it to the moon, Hitler is still alive and OUSA’s $3 lunch is laced with psychedelics.  The first things to identify are smoke and/or the number 666. Long-time conspiracy theorists always know to look Read more...

Dear Aunt Kell and Mamma Zo, It’s Getting Cold. How Do I Find a Compatible Spoon?

Posted 6:06pm Thursday 26th July 2018

First we need to identify what you mean when you refer to a spoon. Do you mean a teaspoon, a utensil used for the movement of liquid to mouth, do you mean to hit a ball in a slow lobbing fashion, or do you mean a body you can lie down next to, and kind of reverse your arse into? We’re Read more...

Dear Aunt Kell and Mamma Zo, I’m throwing my first red card this weekend, what do I need to know?

Posted 6:27pm Thursday 19th July 2018

Make sure you clear the entire day, even if the party starts late in the morning at like 5pm. And always have a bevvie or two before your guests arrive so your guests know that you’re out for a fun time and not just out to be a control freak.  Red cards need a unique theme. For Read more...

Dear Aunty Kells and Mama Zo: I can never seem to find the right shampoo for my hair. How do you choose the right one?

Posted 9:38pm Thursday 5th July 2018

Doing the weekly flat shop is at its absolute worst when you’ve run out of conditioner and shampoo, your flatties are trying to get through the check-out, you’re still looking at shampoo, having an existential crisis “AM I NORMAL, IS MY HAIR NORMAL?!” figuring out what Read more...

The Shitz Live From Ellis (SOLD OUT): A Gig Review

Posted 5:53pm Thursday 17th May 2018

On one fated Saturday evening (last Saturday) (12thMay), (2018), The Shitz held their debut gig. Oh jeeze. The Shitz consist of Dave Borrie (guitar-ish), Jono Everts (guitar), Ryan Jones (not-guitar) and ex-head boy Sam Flannery (guitar).  It was a sharp career change from admins of the meme Read more...

Advice On How To Be A Fifth Year And Increase Your Social Media Following

Posted 5:43pm Thursday 17th May 2018

By the time you get to fifth year/5 years +, you find yourself living alone in St Clair or a random hill/valley somewhere else in Dunedin. Your Facebook page is rusty and as a cohort, you’re averaging 20 likes per Instagram post. While there is nothing wrong with living in the real world, Read more...