A Critical Analysis: Why I Hate Barbie in My Scene Barbie Jammin’ In Jamaica (2004)

Posted 5:32pm Monday 26th April 2021

Barbie’s a feminist icon. She’s an astrophysicist. A business executive. A police officer. George Washington, somehow.  A paratrooper (“United States Marine Corps Sergeant Barbie”, 1991). She’s also a toxic backstabbing manipulator with a victim Read more...

Some Astrology Bullshit About Chlöe Swarbrick

Posted 12:18am Monday 19th April 2021

Jacinda Arden wouldn’t give me her birth time. But I figured that if any other politician had a CoStar it would be Chlöe Swarbrick, because she’s queer and vegan. I was wrong. Thankfully she’s a gem, and texted her mum for me. Chlöe schlorped into this world on 26th Read more...

The Wheel Slim Shady: Getting Around the Walk Your Wheels Policy

Posted 11:13pm Sunday 18th April 2021

The day that Otago University implemented its “Walk Your Wheels” policy was a dark time for all. I’ll never forget cycling into Uni in 2019 and being met with that hideous, mocking sign.  I’m a self-confessed pavement cyclist, the bane of Dunedin News. I like to go Read more...

DCC Denies Use of Sonic Weapon

Posted 9:23pm Sunday 18th April 2021

There is a mosquito device in Dunedin’s Queens Gardens, but a DCC Parks Officer said they were “not aware” of the device’s existence. The so called ‘mosquito device’ installed in Queens Garden emits ultra-high frequency blasts, which are normally detectable Read more...

Your Indie Movie Beach Parties Are Killing Baby Penguins

Posted 4:56pm Sunday 28th March 2021

At a cave in Long Beach, a group of students are having a party. They sip on ciders around a campfire, laughing gleefully while the sunset dips over the horizon. Tongue Tied by Grouplove is inexplicably playing. A white man with dreadlocks is strumming the one song he knows on ukulele. I dunno, no Read more...

No Kerbside Recycling for Inner City Residents

Posted 3:02pm Sunday 28th March 2021

It’s hard to recycle in the city, according to concerns raised by students. Residents flatting in the CBD and George Street’s retail district do not have access to kerbside recycling.  The Dunedin City Council has implemented three $80,000 neighbourhood recycling drop-off Read more...

Female Viagra vs Catholic Guilt

Posted 12:32pm Sunday 21st March 2021

Men have Viagra. I have years of repressed Catholic guilt. This is incredibly unfair, and I decided to fix it by testing out all the female-libido drugs I could get my hands on.  Catholic guilt might sound bizarre to anyone who isn’t Catholic or recovered, considering Catholicism is Read more...

Are Mullets Sexy? The Castle Street Perspective

Posted 1:18am Sunday 14th March 2021

Mullets have a long history. The world’s first mullet was depicted on a metal deity figurine unearthed in an English car park, dating back to 1st-century AD (After Drip). Roman warriors with mullets were engineered for battle, their hair styled out of their eyes and difficult to grab. Murder Read more...

Spitballing With Scientists: Identifying The Eating Disorder Genes

Posted 9:23pm Saturday 6th March 2021

Trigger warning: Disordered eating. Maybe you’re born with it. Maybe it’s anorexia nervosa, and you were also born with it. Did you know that alongside environmental influences, eating disorders are significantly predisposed by your genetics? I didn’t, but it sure would have Read more...

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dorm: Investigating Campus Superstitions

Posted 2:21pm Tuesday 2nd March 2021

Otago University is the mysterious old crone of tertiary education. Many spooky stories lie within her walls. She squats in her rocking chair and cackles ominously, regaling dementia-ridden urban legends and superstitions to gossipy students who love a bit of tea. Superstitions are beliefs that Read more...