Booze Reviews | Export 33

Posted 8:01pm Thursday 27th August 2020

Switching from Export Gold to Export 33 is like switching from Maccas to Subway, except instead of getting arrested for being a pedophile you just become an annoying elitist prick. I honestly have no idea if there are real health benefits in 33, but they do move you at least three social classes Read more...

Booze Reviews | Speight's Cider

Posted 7:33pm Thursday 13th August 2020

Speight's has done so many things to make me the person I am today. It's the best beer I’ve ever been able to afford, it makes me think I’m manly, and it has alcohol in it. As a matter of fact, I base my entire personality on loving Speight's. It's not as tragic as you Read more...

Booze Reviews | Villa Maria

Posted 8:19pm Thursday 30th July 2020

Craft brewers are doing more and more weird shit these days. Every day in Wellington some hipster finds some new crap to put in a beer that makes it taste terrible, so they can call it a 'sour' and convince other punishing hipsters to waste money on it. Apparently, some craft brewers Read more...

Booze Reviews | Carlsberg

Posted 12:45pm Sunday 26th July 2020

They say the Devil's greatest trick was to brew shit beer and put it in green bottles, then charge waaaaay too much for it. This trick has led to the rise of awful beers like Stella and Heineken. This simply cannot do, so I went searching for the impossible. I went looking for a good tasting Read more...

Booze Reviews | Beefeater Gin

Posted 3:53pm Sunday 10th May 2020

In a time of loneliness we all need to find someone, or something, to keep us company. And because I’m a sad, single alcoholic, I’ve found my companion in a bottle of Beefeater Gin. To say Beefeater will boost your mood in a time as tough as this would be a bit of a lie. As Albert Read more...