Wakachangi Is New Zealand's Finest Craft Beer

Posted 1:37pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

‘Wakachangi’ is an amalgamation of the Māori word for canoe and the Georgian word for a 17th century Ottoman harp. The brainchild of one of New Zealand’s greatest New Zealanders, Leigh Hart, this fresh drop goes down easier than the Blackcaps middle order against any Read more...

Inventions Out of Time | Penis

Posted 12:28pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

1.5/5 Would not use again. The penis really has very limited function. Where is the “all-purpose tool” I was promised on the packaging? I tried to open a can with the lauded “can-opener” attachment. It took me ages. The attachment was blunt and almost did more damage to Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 26

Posted 11:27am Sunday 8th October 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start the last issue of ODT Watch for the year we thought we’d give you a great example of one of the ODT’s staples: puns. Yes, it is about two dogs getting married. Props for the rhyme as well.   Clearly drunk off their titular success, the ODT forgot that they did Read more...

Tui Is The Worst Beer in New Zealand

Posted 12:35pm Saturday 30th September 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Tui is a scourge upon our entire society. Fuck Tui. It looks and tastes like Speight’s with a little bit of poo mixed in. It’s exactly the same as every other generic NZ Draught style beer, but somehow manages to be worse. On the nose, I detect subtle notes of wet dog and semen. It Read more...

The Hell Hole | The Nightmare

Posted 12:47pm Saturday 30th September 2017 by Joel MacManus

I joined the Young Nats to stop this nightmare. I waved placards at cars, I knocked on doors, I spammed my friends on Facebook until they all blocked me. It wasn’t enough. The day after the election, Dear Leader Jacinda took her oath of office. The red curtain fell. Taxes were raised to Read more...

Lucky in Love | Beverley & Stuttering Bill

Posted 12:57pm Saturday 30th September 2017 by Lovebirds

Beverley The night began encouragingly with my friends telling me that my hair in the wind made me look like Pennywise from It. On that note, they dropped me off at the Bog. I walked in and started chatting to the bar staff, discovering they have seen many an interesting night go down. Hoping my Read more...

Science Tank | Hear, Hear

Posted 1:07pm Saturday 30th September 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

As someone who hosts a weekly radio show, I was initially excited at the prospect of hearing my own voice in recording. I thought I was a pretty amazing radio presenter and that I sounded like milk, honey and cocaine all in one. Boy, how jarring it was to hear my screechy bagpipe of a wheeze Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 25

Posted 10:11am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week we would like to devote all our space (and most of the Facts and Figures space as well) to addressing the ODT’s cryptic and eye catching post-election image. Interestingly, the ODT decided to avoid any specific reference to Game of Thrones in the picture; presumably to throw Read more...

Editorial | Coalition Negotiations Aside, We Must Not Forget the Important Issues of the Election

Posted 9:20am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Joe Higham

What the (provisional) election results reveal, apart from the fact that very few people seem to understand how the Mixed Member Proportional (MMP) voting system works, is that much of New Zealand remains uncomfortable confronting the severity, or even the existence in some cases, of the problems we Read more...

Inventions Out of Time | Water

Posted 11:00am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

5/5 Things that wouldn’t exist without water: Umbrellas, plumbing, teapots, straws, flippers, periscopes, gutters, islands, sprinklers, water slides, urinals, water fights, water balloons, lifeguards, beaches, icebergs, flippers, saunas, aqueducts, washing powder, surf boards, ice Read more...