The Tell-Tale Can

Posted 2:20pm Sunday 22nd May 2022 by Edgar Allen Poon

True! I am a thief, but I am not mad, just an alcoholic with a guilty conscience. I found myself out of piss and fairly sober at a party. Across the table from me lay, apparently unattended, an unopened and immaculate DoBro. So ice cold and refreshing, covered in condensation all along its red Read more...

Kiwi Lager

Posted 2:46pm Sunday 1st May 2022 by Chug Norris

In an attempt to reintroduce another salt of the earth NZ brew, DB have re-released Kiwi Lagers. Kiwi Lagers are so incredibly average and so unjustifiably expensive that the only people drinking this will be the 40-year-olds that drank this beer when they still had hopes and dreams of doing Read more...

KGB ‘Tropical’

Posted 2:55pm Sunday 24th April 2022 by Chug Norris

Have you become sick and tired of drinking the same toxic lolly water that you’ve been drinking for the past year? Is your current drink not giving you type II diabetes quickly enough? Are you ready to branch out and try something new? Well, buddy, you’re in luck! KGB have just released Read more...

Hardy’s 1L (all of it, it’s all the same)

Posted 6:45pm Friday 1st April 2022 by Chug Norris

Hardy’s is perhaps the most widely consumed wine in Dunedin. Not a BYO goes by where a bottle does not appear. The iconic one litre bottle towers over the laughably dainty 750 mL bottles on the table. But Hardy’s is also special in another respect: it is utterly shit. It is a symbol of Read more...

Booze Reviews | Tui 7.2% Strong Lager

Posted 4:06pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by Chug Norris

Tui has done it again. Earlier, with their standard lager, the brewery perfectly captured the taste of a minor fuck-up, a small leak in the life-boat, a failure to look both ways at a railway crossing, a sneaky look down the barrel of a firework to see why it isn’t working.  But now, Read more...

Stella Artois

Posted 3:50pm Sunday 26th September 2021 by Abraham Drinkin'

Do you believe that taxation is literally theft? Do you find yourself retching in disgust as you walk past commoners drinking boxes of Flame? Does Maggie Thatcher’s steely gaze awaken something deep within? Stella Artois is perfect for showing your lower class friends you aren’t out Read more...

Woodstock Bourbon and Cola Raspberry Edition

Posted 5:10pm Sunday 16th May 2021 by Chug Norris

Woodstock Raspberry tastes like if a Liquorice Allsort and a rat had a kid. It tastes like a raspberry bun except instead of filling it with jam, they filled with regurgitated Billy Mavs. It tastes like a Razor Scooter to the ankle. It tastes like binge drinking on a dark field when you’re 16. Read more...

Booze Reviews | Soju

Posted 4:14pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Chug Norris

Following in the footsteps of Marco Polo I embarked on a tasting of the Korean spirit soju. Originally brewed as a pure spirit, soju now comes in a range of fruit flavours. I selected three flavours from the Chateul Soorok brand for consideration. I’ll be honest I had never even heard of Soju Read more...

Booze Reviews | Peronis: Living the High Life

Posted 8:08pm Sunday 2nd May 2021 by Chug Norris

Italians either succeed at something completely, or they fail at it miserably. Ferraris and World War II are some prime examples of these extremes. Peronis are something that they managed to get right. They are a perfect beer for demonstrating to your peers that you are sophisticated yet down to Read more...

Booze Reviews | Major Major

Posted 9:40pm Monday 26th April 2021 by Chug Norris

In my extremely shit-faced attempts to find something newsworthy at Hyde I came across a dude pissing against a wall and holding a Major Major. I asked him what he thought of his beverage and he told me: “Bloody good, tastes just like apple-juice.”  That is an excellent summary Read more...