Have you become sick and tired of drinking the same toxic lolly water that you’ve been drinking for the past year? Is your current drink not giving you type II diabetes quickly enough? Are you ready to branch out and try something new? Well, buddy, you’re in luck! KGB have just released their latest drink. The flavour: a simple yet mysterious ‘Tropical’.
Tropical KGBs have the least distinct flavour of any drink ever. They taste like a bag of jet planes heated in a car glove box for an extended period of time and then given a bath in watered down Red Bull. Of course, there’s no way you’re tasting any alcohol. With this amount of sugar, you can say goodbye to any sensation in your outer limbs, too, and you will never feel your fingers again. There is a note of bitterness at the back end, which is perhaps a side effect of them pumping every flavour known to man into these bad boys to maximise the ‘Tropical’ taste.
I consumed this drink at roughly 1 PM on a Wednesday, and to be honest it is a perfect study drink. It’s &5, but small, so there’s nowhere near enough alcohol in one to do any damage to your brain and just enough to increase your creativity, but the caffeine and guarana mix absolutely hits the spot when it comes to thinking.
The value for money is alright I guess, apparently they sell for $25 but I can imagine they will be frequently reduced in price or on sale. At $25 they come in at $1.54 per standard which is pretty average.
You have to respect KGB for doing what they do best. They know they are owned by the same companies that are pumping out endless ‘healthy’ alternative drinks, so why bother offering an alternative to the sugary shite that they have always made? At the end of the day whether you drink a box of KGB or a box of Pals you are equally likely to end up engaging in risky and potentially life-threatening behaviour, so you might as well get a sugar rush while you’re at it.
Tasting notes: sherbert, Raro, energy drinks
Froth level: library pres
Pairs well with: medical conditions, mid-Uni crises
Taste rating: 5/10 it is not special