Editorial: Introducing the Critic Bachelor

Posted 6:42pm Saturday 13th July 2024 by Nina Brown

Welcome back, everyone! I hope you’ve all had a very well earned and restful semester break. It’s been a bit of a ghost town in Dunedin with most people taking advantage of the break to ditch the frosty flats and either hit the ski slopes or your parents’ pantries and power bills. Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: The Chamber of Secrets

Posted 4:38pm Saturday 11th May 2024 by Critic

Going to the doctor about sex-related stuff can be scary, and quite embarrassing sometimes. But do not fret, I have a story to share in solidarity to encourage you all to go get your genitals checked if they are exhibiting strange symptoms. I was experiencing bleeding with penetration for a few Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: The Rubber Raxxer

Posted 9:19pm Friday 26th April 2024 by Critic

I had been talking to Latin (easiest decoded code name ever) for maybe a month before my return to the glorious city of Auckland, but nothing had come of it – at least not yet. Upon landing, I promptly received a text from a high school friend inviting me to go with her to town. Lo and behold, Read more...

Best of Moaningful Confessions

Posted 4:15pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic

It’s only appropriate that the sex issue pays homage to everyone’s favourite sexscapade column: Moaningful Confessions. The column was born in 2020 out of the ashes of the seedy and often marginal Blind Date column. We’ve ranked the sauciest, most salacious, tit-lickin’, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Luigi's Mansion

Posted 12:07pm Monday 11th March 2024 by Critic

It was a dark and stormy night; the wind was howling like the swirling storm inside (my uterus). Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried. It was semester break, and my friends and I decided to mish to Queenstown for a few days. After a long and windy trip across the mushroom kingdom, we Read more...

Editorial: Moaningful Confessions May Meet Its Unsexy Demise

Posted 5:02pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Nina Brown

We’re (maybe) scrapping Moaningful Confessions. I realise this won’t be a popular move, but it’s time.  Behind the scenes, the column has been going downhill for a while and submissions have been few and far between. Most weeks it would reach print night and Lotto, who runs Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Don't Download Grindr

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Critic

Okay, some context: I’m a trans guy and at the time I was getting over my ex-boyfriend so I decided to download Grindr (don’t ever do that). I’d had quite a few people messaging me but only a select few were actually within a decent distance and I can’t drive so needed to Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Three’s a Crowd

Posted 5:28pm Sunday 17th July 2022 by Critic

There I was, fresh into my first year at Otago, having spent the first-half semester with my virginity still intact. Not wanting to enter my Fresher Hoe Phase a novice, I was desperate to get some experience during the mid-sem break. Luckily, my friend had the smartest idea: “Why not knock out Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Tree roots? More like tree roots, ha!

Posted 3:01pm Sunday 24th April 2022 by Critic

There’s a big willow tree on the corner of Anzac and Hanover, sorta by the train station. I’ve had sex in it. It’s the third tree I’ve had sex in but it was certainly the best. I’d been seeing this girl for a while, going to parties together and usually ended up Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Bloody Hell

Posted 6:24pm Sunday 27th March 2022 by Critic

Now, I’ve got a lot of issues, and chronic sinus problems is one of them. Usually, in my day-to-day life, my chronic sinus pain and blockage doesn’t bother me apart from the odd sniffle or headache. But in my sex life, well, that’s a different story.  Let me set the scene. Read more...