The Official Critic Te Ārohi Sex Playlist

Posted 2:21pm Sunday 4th August 2024 by Critic

CRITIC’S BEST SONGS TO HAVE SEX TO: Confidence – Ocean Alley Careless Whisper – George Michael Hungry Eyes – Eric Carmen Just The Two of Us (feat. Bill Withers) – Grover Washington, Jr.  Fly Me To the Moon – Frank Sinatra Kiss Me – Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Halloween Rendezvous

Posted 6:43pm Sunday 5th May 2024 by Critic

It was Halloween. I got all dressed and ready into my costume, and boy did I feel sexy. Pairing that with many drinks later at a Halloween party, I thought I was hot shit. You know when you are feeling yourself so much that you just want someone else's hands all over you? Just me? Okay fine. Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: The Rubber Raxxer

Posted 9:19pm Friday 26th April 2024 by Critic

I had been talking to Latin (easiest decoded code name ever) for maybe a month before my return to the glorious city of Auckland, but nothing had come of it – at least not yet. Upon landing, I promptly received a text from a high school friend inviting me to go with her to town. Lo and behold, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Bathroom Olympics

Posted 8:08pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Critic

This is how I won a $3 plastic trophy for winning a sex competition. Last year a mate and I wanted to attend an event: party buses, bar crawl and silly dress up – ideal. It was a five hour drive away, but we figured that if we found men at the event to shack up with the accommodation was free Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Catman

Posted 8:53pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic

We’re coming up on the anniversary of this story so I feel as though I have enough closure to share it. This was my first attempt at a Tinder hook up after a breakup, and I knew the guy from home so I thought it would be chill. No surprises, I was wrong.  Everything is set up, Read more...

Trans Sex For Dummies

Posted 4:47pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

Disclaimer: This article includes discussion and description of transgender bodies, with anatomical and occasionally gendered language. It mainly focuses on personal experiences of pre-op trans people on HRT, but a lot of this can be applied to trans people at other stages of their Read more...

Between the Sheets: The Realities of Lesbian Sex

Posted 2:54pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Madeline O’Leary

Disclaimer: This article is based on the personal experience of one individual. In this article, lesbian sex is referred to in the context of being between two AFAB (assigned female at birth) partners. Trans lesbians, we love you too. Hello there, queer/questioning/closeted Critic reader! You Read more...

Your First Time… According to Wattpad

Posted 3:00pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans

When your total bitch of a mother throws your things in a suitcase and tells you to meet your new owners (One Direction, a band you’ve literally never even heard of), the prospect of your emerging sexuality can be daunting, especially when you’re a fictional self-insert who doesn’t Read more...

Editorial: Hook-Up Culture is the New Cool Girl

Posted 3:38pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Nina Brown

Dunedin hook-up culture has gaslighted us all into prioritising male pleasure over female pleasure, and just accepting this as the norm. Women’s sexual enjoyment is swept aside, and being okay with this is added to the criteria of Cool Girl. You’re a Cool Girl if you have mediocre one Read more...

Debatable: Should you watch porn?

Posted 4:04pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Abby Bowmar

TW: SA, mentions of abuse For You have an internet connection, an incognito tab, and 10 minutes (8? 5? 2?) on your hands. Put aside the guilt your Catholic primary school instilled in you, and remember to disconnect from your flat’s Bluetooth speaker.  Modern society Read more...