Horoscopes: Week 14

Horoscopes: Week 14

Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18

If you’re reading this, it’s a sign to abandon all sense of responsibility and chase your dreams. Don’t let social norms confine you. 

Re-O Activity: A skiing getaway. 

 

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20

Chances are, you’re in a situation right now where you’re scared of getting hurt. Don’t keep those walls up forever bestie, you’ve got to let your guard down at some point. Go easy on yourself. 

Re-O Activity: skating disco at the ice rink.

 

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19

Apparently, I’ve been too mean to Aries the past few weeks. Well guess what? Suck it up, and you have proved my point. 

Re-O Activity: self reflection.

 

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20

Taurus men are like the Dad you never had. Taurus women are like God’s gift to humanity. If you’re a Taurus, you slay, and deserve all the love, hot coffee and books in the world. 

Re-O Activity: A cocktail at Woof.

 

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20

‘Tis the season to be unhinged. Embrace the philosophy of “YOLO”, and do whatever you want. Don’t let the haterz bring you down. 

Re-O Activity: Having a sesh with the homies.

 

Cancer

Jun 21 - July 22

It’s Cancer season baby! This means hell for everyone else, but at least you have more justification for crying. 

Re-O Activity: self-care evening with a pinot gris.

 

Leo

July - Aug 22

Life as a Leo must be so deeply debilitating. Being so loud and obnoxious all the time must be exhausting. 

Re-O Activity: skip class and day drink.

 

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22

It’s all true. You are hotter, smarter and better than everyone else. Being a Virgo is the biggest flex, and you deserve all the love. 

Re-O Activity: set up your semester 2 spreadsheet. 

 

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22

Libra women are so fucking cool. Libra women are the ultimate girl’s girl. They will do your makeup and fight your ex. Libra men? See a therapist. 

Re-O Activity: thrifting for a winter wardrobe. 

 

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21

All your hard work and dedication will soon pay off, but remember to schedule in some rest time! You can’t grind all the time, gotta give that genius mind a rest. 

Re-O Activity: Pull your red card. 

 

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21

For the first time in a while, you finally have momentum in life and the direction you’re going in. Keep this up, you can do it! Just stay motivated and dedicated. 

Re-O Activity: joining a new club. 

 

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19

My money don’t jiggle jiggle, it folds, I’d like to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure, you make me wanna dribble dribble, you know. 

Re-O Activity: getting back on the grind, a break is for the weak.

This article first appeared in Issue 14, 2022.
Posted 12:44pm Sunday 10th July 2022 by Critic.