There are many pleasures in life. In Dunedin, it’s the Peninsula wildlife and alcohol. Put ‘em together and what do you get? Penguin piss. In honour of this year’s Bird of the Year election, the master brewers at Emerson’s have made a limited edition ‘Vote Hoiho’ NZ Pale Ale.
Despite being a Lion Corporate brand, Emerson’s can still claim local status because of this drop. To create this drink, Emerson’s partnered with the Yellow-eyed Penguin Trust, the Dunedin Wildlife Hospital, and the OPERA (Otago Peninsula Eco Restoration Alliance) to support the last remaining Hoiho on Aotearoa’s mainland. For every litre of penguin beers sold, Emerson’s donates $1 towards helping the penguins.
Hoiho beer is crafted from a blend of Graston Rakau hops and Riwaka Amplifier hop oil from Clayton. It’s up for debate whether either of those are real things or Emerson’s is sneaking into the Wildlife Hospital around the corner and stealing drums of actual penguin piss Breaking Bad style.
Penguin-themed piss may be the one thing that can take away the moral ambiguity of drinking to excess when you really shouldn’t. The more you drink, the better chance you have of saving this poor bird from extinction. Emerson’s has finally made it possible to say, “Babe, me and the boys have to have a few more. The penguins need us.” Going to Emerson’s to put back a few of these makes you a certified Dunner’s Robin Hood, stealing from Studylink and giving to the birds. Truly a noble cause.
In terms of taste, this drop is pretty malty like an APA (overheard from a nearby table drinking tasting trays) and leaves a fairly hoppy taste. Don’t ask me what that means. In the sink to sip ratio – with a yardie of Double Browns on one end of the scale and a nice scotch on the other – this beer sits comfortably in the middle. It’s like drinking your Dad’s homebrew with dinner: it’s meant to be savoured whilst you painfully get asked questions about its aroma, complex flavours, and what job you can get with your degree.
The Hoiho NZ Pale Ale (adorably advertised by ‘Vote Hoiho’ ribbons worn by staff) is on Emerson’s limited time brewers reserve, meaning you sadly can’t buy a box of these things. Your options are to order a pint or order a 1.25L rigger bottle – and if it comes in the same shape as a scrumpy, it must mean that this bottle is reserved for only the highest quality of drink. For those ordering their beers takeaway, the price for Vote Hoiho NZ Pale Ale comes in at $17.50 for 1.25L of yellow-eyed alcohol. With an ABV of 5.4%, the rigger comes in at 5.3 standard drinks, making for a cooked (but charitable) golden ratio of $3.3 per standard.
Pairs well with: Critic not hating penguins
X Factor: Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
Hangover Depression Level: Painful, like watching a tourist trying to pet a sea lion
Taste Rating: 9/10. Feel too guilty giving this a lower rating